After the banquet, the Empress Dowager returned to the Ci An Palace. As for the others… today was New Year's Eve, and everyone had the custom of staying up late.
"An Xin, prepare the water. This empress wishes to bathe." The Empress Dowager's voice carried a hint of exhaustion.
An Xin prepared the hot water, and the Empress Dowager dismissed everyone, wishing to be alone. She slowly walked into the bath, letting the hot water envelop her body. She had been feeling tired and weak these past few days.
When Gu Yin arrived, the Empress Dowager had not yet emerged.
"Where is Her Majesty the Empress Dowager?" Gu Yin asked An Xin.
"Her Majesty the Empress Dowager is bathing and does not wish for the maids to serve her. It may not be convenient to see Lord Gu at the moment," An Xin replied.
Gu Yin furrowed his brow. "How long has it been?"
"Over half an hour. Her Majesty usually stays for a full hour," An Xin replied.
"Have you gone in?" Gu Yin's frown deepened.
"Her Majesty does not allow anyone in," An Xin said.
"How have you been serving her? An Xin, you have served Her Majesty the Empress Dowager for so long, and you cannot even perceive this?!" Gu Yin suddenly became angry. Before An Xin could react, Gu Yin had already entered.
"Lord Gu..." An Xin had no chance to stop him.
When Gu Yin entered, he saw the Empress Dowager leaning against the side of the bathtub with her eyes closed, seemingly asleep. Gu Yin's breath hitched, and he slowly walked over.
"Lord Gu, this is against the rules. Please leave," An Xin urged.
"Move aside!" Gu Yin disregarded her and walked directly to the Empress Dowager's side. The water had already turned completely cold.
"Is this how you serve her?" Gu Yin looked at An Xin. An Xin was momentarily speechless. It was true that they had been negligent. Previously, the Empress Dowager would stay for a long time because she and the palace maids would replenish the hot water. But today, the Empress Dowager did not want anyone to enter, and in this cold weather, no one thought to reheat the water even as it cooled.
Gu Yin paid them no mind and, first and foremost, lifted the Empress Dowager from the water. An Xin quickly grabbed a long towel to cover her.
The Empress Dowager did not wake up. An Xin grew anxious and blamed herself for such a low-level mistake. She slapped herself.
Gu Yin placed her on the bed, pulled the quilt over her, and An Xin knelt by the bedside. If anything were to happen to the Empress Dowager because of her, she would be solely responsible.
Gu Yin took the Empress Dowager's arm out from under the quilt and felt her pulse. The furrow in his brow did not ease. He ordered someone to fetch paper and a brush to write a prescription: "Have someone go to my manor to fetch the medicine."
"Yes," An Xin dared not delay, taking the prescription and going to find someone.
Gu Yin then took out a white porcelain bottle from his own person, poured out a pill, and fed it to the Empress Dowager. He then held her hand, the veins in his hand faintly visible. He was afraid, he was worried.
After a while, the Empress Dowager slowly opened her eyes. Gu Yin's tense expression eased slightly.
"Awake?" Gu Yin asked gently.
"Gu Yin..." The Empress Dowager had not yet fully registered her surroundings.
"You were asleep just now," Gu Yin said in a normal tone.
"Mm..." The Empress Dowager wanted to sit up.
Gu Yin helped her sit up, but… her complexion was not right.
"Gu Yin..." The Empress Dowager's hand grasped Gu Yin's arm.
"I know. It's alright," Gu Yin said, patting her hand reassuringly.
But the Empress Dowager did not seem to think so. She looked around, searching for something.
"What is it?" Gu Yin asked.
The Empress Dowager looked at him, then directly reached out and took the hairpin that held Gu Yin's hair in place. Gu Yin was unguarded. In the next moment, the Empress Dowager directly drew the hairpin across her own arm.
"Nan Yin!" Gu Yin had not expected the Empress Dowager to do such a thing. He immediately grabbed Nan Yin's hand and took the hairpin away.
"Are you mad?!" Gu Yin rarely got angry with her.
"What are you all standing around for? Hurry and get the tools!" Gu Yin roared at the palace servants.
"Everyone else, get out!" Gu Yin did not restrain his emotions this time.
"It doesn't hurt… Gu Yin, I can't feel any pain…" the Empress Dowager looked at Gu Yin.
"So what? You just can't feel it anymore. Is that worth you doing this?" Gu Yin was truly incensed. Without the hairpin, his hair had all come loose and cascaded down his back.
"Gu Yin, there's no time…" Perhaps it was the lack of makeup, but the Empress Dowager looked much more haggard. She was frail now.
The palace servants brought the medicine box. Gu Yin then dismissed them. He opened the medicine box, took out the medicine and bandages. Even though the Empress Dowager could not feel pain, his movements were careful and gentle.
After bandaging her, he looked at the Empress Dowager again and then pulled her into his arms. "Nan Yin, with me here, everything will be alright. Trust me. There is still a very, very long time left…" Gu Yin's voice was hoarse.
The Empress Dowager looked at his hair scattered over his shoulders. The former Gu Yin always had jet-black hair, and his face bore no traces of age. He had said he could remain ageless and live to a hundred.
Now…
"Gu Yin, you have white hair," the Empress Dowager said.
"As one ages, white hair naturally appears," Gu Yin replied.
"You said you would never grow old…" the Empress Dowager said.
"I was teasing. Didn't I tell you all this before? I'm not a monster, I'm human. Who among humans doesn't age?" Gu Yin answered her.
"I'm getting old too," the Empress Dowager said again.
"Yes, I will be with you. We will grow old together. No matter when, I will be with you. I will not break my promise," Gu Yin told her.
"I lost my sense of smell, then my taste, and now my sense of touch. What will be next? Will I lose my sight and hearing?" the Empress Dowager asked him.
"No matter what, you just need to know that I am here for you. Yin'er, don't be afraid," Gu Yin called her Yin'er.
"I'm just afraid time is running out… there are still so many things I haven't done," the Empress Dowager said.
"There is enough time. After you finish what you need to do, we will also go to Jiangcheng. You never agreed before, but will you agree this time? When all this is over, let's go to Jiangcheng, alright?" Gu Yin said to her.
"...Alright" The Empress Dowager agreed this time.
Gu Yin smiled. "Since you've agreed, you can't go back on your word. I knew you would go. I calculated it before." Gu Yin held her tightly.
The Empress Dowager fell silent.
The last time she left the palace, she visited Gu Yin's manor. That day, she had said to Gu Yin, "Gu Yin, I can't smell anything anymore."
On the day Nan Su returned to the capital, he brewed her a cup of tea. She liked Junshan Silver Needle, but unfortunately, they didn't have any. However… it seemed she couldn't taste it anymore either.
He had asked her, "Do you regret it?"
She had said, "No regrets."
But… Yin'er, I regret it…