Yu Jingchen sat alone in the side hall for a long time, unable to comprehend the meaning behind Nan Zhiyun's words. Or perhaps... were her memories different from his own? Did that mean that in some past life he didn't know about, he had truly killed Nan Su, killed her father?
If it were true, how would he face Nan Zhiyun? How could she ever forgive him... For the first time, Yu Jingchen truly hated his own powerlessness.
He didn't even dare to see Nan Zhiyun now, because he didn't want to face the hatred in her eyes towards him.
Yu Jingchen's injury was suppressed by himself. After all, his injury was no small matter, especially since it was inflicted by Nan Zhiyun. If word got out, people would undoubtedly make a fuss about it.
It was just that Nan Zhiyun's strike was too fierce, and this was the most severe injury Yu Jingchen had ever sustained. Even when he was the Crown Prince, venturing to the borders and leading troops in battle, he had never been so gravely wounded.
Speaking of personally leading the expedition back then... that incident later became a reason for apprehension and animosity towards the Nan family. The reason was that he and Nan Su had fought on the battlefield together, yet the common people, and even court officials, considered Nan Su a god of war, attributing almost all the credit to him. As for himself... heh.
But upon further reflection now, he realized their thinking was understandable. Nan Su's image was already deeply ingrained in their hearts, and what was he in comparison? Moreover, Nan Su always charged forward and was victorious every time. Even the wounds he sustained... there were times he nearly never woke up again. And himself? So... Nan Su's contributions were indeed significant.
Yu Jingchen lowered his head. He had been too narrow-minded and opportunistic back then... Such simple, obvious truths, why couldn't he understand them at the time? His teacher had once said that a ruler's magnanimity was a prerequisite for their position... Unfortunately, he had failed to achieve it.
His teacher often said that a ruler should have the world in their heart and lead with benevolence. But he had never believed in benevolent love for others; his faith lay in iron-fisted methods. What was kindness? Such things would ultimately lead to his own downfall. If he were merciful and soft-handed, he would be the one to die.
But now... Yu Jingchen suddenly regretted it. Why hadn't he shown the Nan family, shown Nan Zhiyun, a shred of benevolence back then? If he hadn't been so cruel to them, if he hadn't been so suspicious, wouldn't the situation be different now?
At least Nan Zhiyun wouldn't have suffered so much, wouldn't have been in so much pain, wouldn't she? His cold-blooded cruelty might have achieved much and served many purposes, but in the process, he seemed to have lost what he now cherished most...
Yu Jingchen took a long while to compose himself before daring to rise and return to Nan Zhiyun's chambers. But... as he was about to enter, he faltered. His chest ached faintly, and Nan Zhiyun's undisguised hatred reminded him that she hated him, hated him enough to want to kill him... In her heart, he was the murderer of her father.
"Your Majesty, perhaps it's best not to go in for now. Let Consort Shu calm down on her own," Xing Lai, who was also worried, said. After all, Consort Shu had just injured His Majesty. If His Majesty went in now, who knew what might happen.
"It's fine..." Yu Jingchen said he was fine, but he was the one most afraid of going in.
However, he didn't hesitate much. After all, he couldn't stand outside forever, could he? Yu Jingchen entered. The room grew dim, perhaps because dusk was approaching.
Nan Zhiyun was lying on the bed, appearing to be asleep, but Yu Jingchen knew she wasn't.
Yu Jingchen said nothing, merely walking over and sitting down beside her. Looking at the pretending Nan Zhiyun, he felt the agony of being speechless for the first time. He... didn't know how to start, didn't know what to say.
"Yun'er..." Yu Jingchen's voice was hoarse.
How could Nan Zhiyun respond? She lay motionless on the side, without any movement.
"I know you're upset now. You say I killed your father twice... Yun'er, I can tell you the truth, I really didn't do it this time, and your father's disappearance wasn't my doing. You might not believe me, but if I had done it, I wouldn't have hidden it from you." Yu Jingchen was still explaining the current situation.
"As for the last time... I'm very sorry, Yun'er. Perhaps I've forgotten that memory... so I don't know, but... I'm sorry. I know, it's all my fault." Yu Jingchen wasn't sure why he had killed Nan Su in Nan Zhiyun's memory, or if such a thing had truly happened. But he knew that Nan Zhiyun had such a memory, so no matter what, he had become the executioner who killed her closest relative.
Nan Zhiyun still didn't react, but Yu Jingchen knew she could hear his every word. It was alright if she didn't respond; Yun'er was angry. Anyone would be angry in such a situation. So he wouldn't force Nan Zhiyun to respond. He could wait...
Yu Jingchen didn't expect Nan Zhiyun to forgive him, but... he would never allow Nan Zhiyun to leave him. If it came to that... he would be compelled to imprisoning Nan Zhiyun in the palace forever.
Yu Jingchen reached out to touch Nan Zhiyun, but his movement stopped halfway, before he could touch her. She... wouldn't like him touching her. The light in Yu Jingchen's eyes instantly dimmed, and he quietly withdrew his hand.
"Rest well. I'll come to see you tomorrow, okay? It's getting dark outside. I'll light the lamp for you first." Yu Jingchen said, and then began to light the candles. The room soon became bright, even brighter than before, because Yu Jingchen had lit many...
After lighting the candles, Yu Jingchen glanced at the sleeping Nan Zhiyun. This time, he didn't linger. True to his word, he turned and left quickly.
After Yu Jingchen left, Nan Zhiyun, who had been sleeping on the bed, opened her eyes. However, there was an overwhelming desolation in them.
Her hand clenched the quilt in front of her chest. Faint blue veins could be seen on her fair hand. She was enduring. Nan Zhiyun closed her eyes tightly, tears wetting the pillow as she trembled uncontrollably, crying bitterly.
If Yu Jingchen were here now, he would be heartbroken... No, even if he weren't here, he would still be in pain.
Yu Jingchen stood outside the door. Although Nan Zhiyun's movements were subtle, he couldn't ignore them. Xing Lai tried to comfort him, "Your Majesty, you should go and rest. Your health is most important. You've been so seriously injured, don't stand here any longer. This servant will watch over things here." Xing Lai was also anxious. If His Majesty had any mishap, what would they do?
"I'll stand here. You go down," Yu Jingchen stated with resolve. Who could change what he had decided? No one. Xing Lai tried to persuade him again, "Your Majesty... His Majesty repeated, his voice unheard by those outside, "I'll say it one last time. Go down." His voice wasn't loud, for fear of Nan Zhiyun inside hearing, but the coldness and firmness in his tone were undeniable.
"...Yes" Xing Lai dared not persuade further and retreated silently.
After Xing Lai left, Yu Jingchen looked at the room. He couldn't see anything, yet he felt he could sense Nan Zhiyun's current state, her despair.
Yu Jingchen stood there for the entire night. Nan Zhiyun didn't want to see him, so he wouldn't disturb her by entering. Similarly, he didn't want to leave, nor did he want to leave Nan Zhiyun alone. Thus, he chose to stand there for the entire night.
The wound on his chest had not healed and even threatened to reopen, but Yu Jingchen seemed oblivious. The pain was also good... it lessened the pain in his heart.
The candle in the room burned all night, and Nan Zhiyun also did not sleep. In the morning, when Xing Lai entered, he was startled by Yu Jingchen's pale, bloodless face. This vulnerable Yu Jingchen was unprecedented.
"Your Majesty..." Xing Lai wanted to summon the imperial physician immediately.
"Go and get the calming incense from yesterday and light it in the room. She didn't sleep all night. Let her rest well today," Yu Jingchen ordered.
"But Your Majesty, your current..." Xing Lai's words were cut short by Yu Jingchen, "I'm fine. Have someone watch over Consort Shu later. Absolutely do not let anything happen to her. Pay close attention." Yu Jingchen was worried.
"Yes..." Xing Lai knew his place and didn't dare to say more. But why had things suddenly turned like this between His Majesty and the Consort? His Majesty hadn't asked him to investigate anything, so... why? Was it because of General Nan? But what did that have to do with His Majesty?
"Prepare yourself. We're going to the morning court," Yu Jingchen said, turning to leave. But at that moment, his footing faltered, and he nearly fainted.
"Your Majesty!" Xing Lai exclaimed, rushing to support him.
"It's nothing. Let's go," Yu Jingchen said.
"Your Majesty, your body is in no condition to attend court. This servant should find an imperial physician for you," Xing Lai said, his face full of anxiety. How had things come to this?
"Look, your wound has reopened and is bleeding so much. You need to have it treated, at the very least. Your Majesty, please listen to this servant's advice. Even if you go now, being discovered by the ministers in this state will only raise suspicion." Xing Lai continued to persuade him.
This time, Yu Jingchen didn't insist. If the ministers discovered this, it might bring trouble to Nan Zhiyun. Seeing that His Majesty was finally willing to listen, Xing Lai breathed a sigh of relief and immediately went to summon the imperial physician.
Ci'an Palace
"His Majesty is injured?" the Empress Dowager was shocked to hear this.
"Reporting to Her Ladyship the Empress Dowager, it is indeed as reported. However, the cause of His Majesty's injury is unknown, but... it should be related to Consort Shu." An Xin replied.
The Empress Dowager frowned. What was going on? Did Yun'er assassinate His Majesty? But why would she do that? Yun'er had always been afraid of Yu Jingchen. Even though Yu Jingchen had been very tolerant and doting towards her these days, she knew that Yun'er's fear of Yu Jingchen hadn't completely disappeared.
But their interactions had been relatively pleasant during this period, so why would Yun'er suddenly stab Yu Jingchen? And from the looks of it, it wasn't an accident.
"Go and investigate. Especially see if Yun'er is injured," the Empress Dowager was also anxious. However, it wasn't out of fear for Yu Jingchen's injury, because... in this world, who else could truly harm Yu Jingchen? This time was likely just an accident. Yu Jingchen's life could only be taken if he himself willed it; no one else could easily claim it.
"Yes" An Xin replied.
"...No, I must go myself. I won't rest easy until I see Yun'er. Come, prepare the carriage to Zichen Palace," the Empress Dowager decided, still worried.
An Xin quickly had a sedan chair prepared and accompanied the Empress Dowager to Zichen Palace. However...
"Your Ladyship the Empress Dowager, please forgive me. His Majesty has decreed that no one is allowed to enter or leave Zichen Palace at will, nor to see Consort Shu." the guard at the entrance replied.
"How dare you block me?!" the Empress Dowager was furious.
"Your Ladyship the Empress Dowager, please forgive me!" The guard said this, but showed no intention of moving aside. The Empress Dowager knew that once Yu Jingchen gave an order, she wouldn't be able to force her way in today. The situation was clear: Zichen Palace had been heavily guarded, with several layers of security.
It was precisely because of these circumstances that the Empress Dowager became even more worried. But... Yu Jingchen wouldn't harm Yun'er now...
Even if Yu Jingchen wouldn't harm Nan Zhiyun, it didn't mean Yun'er wouldn't harm herself... She dared to stab Yu Jingchen now, so who knew what else that girl might do.
"Is there anyone serving inside?" the Empress Dowager asked, seeing that she couldn't get in.
"Reporting to Your Ladyship the Empress Dowager, Consort Shu has dedicated servants attending to her. His Majesty has ordered that she be well cared for, so Your Ladyship the Empress Dowager need not worry." the guard replied.
How could the Empress Dowager be at ease? But she couldn't get in now... The two sides remained at a standoff at the entrance. Yu Jingchen had not yet returned from court, and the Empress Dowager had no other recourse.
"Your Ladyship the Empress Dowager, perhaps we should return first," An Xin also looked at the Empress Dowager.
The Empress Dowager hesitated. At this moment, a palace maid ran out from inside the room: "The Consort has hanged herself!"