Yu Jingchen bent his body along the pillar, then slowly knelt down. Sorry, when did I start only knowing how to say sorry? It turns out these things could make one so powerless.
Yu Jingchen didn't even know how he should face Nan Zhirun, looking at her now innocent and kind demeanor, looking at how her entire world revolved around him. And himself? He had deceived her, insulted her, tormented her, and in the end, even drove her to madness, forever trapping her in that moment.
Whenever Yu Jingchen thought of Nan Zhirun smiling at him, acting coquettishly, or throwing a small temper, his heart ached to the point of near death.
He hunched his back. He had never bent his back much in his life, especially not due to these so-called pains, but now he truly couldn't hold on. It hurt so much, as if his heart was being sliced into a thousand pieces, bloody and raw. So how had Nan Zhirun endured it back then?
Being humiliated before the Empress Dowager, watching her father’s head severed by his own hands, watching his maids being cut into pieces, and finally, seeing the steamed flesh of his maids served on a table and being forced to eat it.
How had she endured it?
Yu Jingchen felt that the memories of this life were even more cruel than the previous one. At least in the previous life, Nan Zhirun hadn't watched her loved ones die one by one before her eyes. She hadn't been driven to hang herself by him, and had not lost the will to live.
Yu Jingchen stayed outside for over half an hour, not daring to go in. How should he face Nan Zhirun?
Although Nan Zhirun had caused a scene today, she thankfully didn't have nightmares and slept peacefully. In her dream, it was as if she was dreaming of something fun, a sweet smile lingering on her lips. Yu Jingchen walked to her side and gently stroked her.
“Why couldn’t I have woken up sooner?” Yu Jingchen’s lifelong regret was all focused on Nan Zhirun.
“I’m sorry, Yun’er…” Yu Jingchen felt so powerless. When did he fall to the point of only knowing how to say these two words?
Looking at the young girl sleeping so soundly, with red marks still visible on her hands, he tenderly touched the marks on Nan Zhirun’s hand. He shouldn't have done that today. The little girl was so young, her thoughts were simple, he just needed to talk to her properly. He had actually laid hands on her, it was truly inexcusable.
For the rest of the night, Yu Jingchen didn't sleep. He couldn't. As soon as he closed his eyes, all the memories of his past life flooded his mind. This must be his retribution.
He truly owed Nan Zhirun far too much, countless things. He didn't know what he could do to repay her, or how he could make amends.
Yu Jingchen held Nan Zhirun close. Finding the familiar embrace, Nan Zhirun naturally snuggled into his arms, her hands clutching at Yu Jingchen's clothes. Now, Yu Jingchen seemed to always provide her with a sense of security, yet he was also the one who had hurt her the deepest.
“Your Majesty~” Nan Zhirun suddenly spoke, startling Yu Jingchen.
“What is it? Hmm?” Yu Jingchen looked at Nan Zhirun, only to find that the girl was still asleep. So she was talking in her sleep just now?
“Hug~” Nan Zhirun rubbed against Yu Jingchen. Yu Jingchen breathed a sigh of relief. He had thought Nan Zhirun had woken up.
“Don’t hit~ It hurts” Nan Zhirun's sleep-talking didn't seem to end.