Nan Zhiyun never waited for Yujingchen's ruler to fall. She slowly opened her eyes again, her eyelashes still trembling, a testament to her fear. Yujingchen lifted the ruler and placed it in her palm. Nan Zhiyun’s hand began to tremble.
"This time it's over eight hundred strokes. Can you withstand it?" Yujingchen didn't rush to act.
"Your Majesty decreed it, and this consort has no right to question." Nan Zhiyun gave up resisting.
"I just said, this time it's corporal punishment. How many do you think they'll have to endure for you this time?" Yujingchen seemed to say this deliberately.
As expected, as soon as his words fell, Nan Zhiyun looked at him, her eyes filled with unconcealable sorrow. "Your Majesty, why do you keep forcing me like this? I clearly did nothing wrong… you are the one who always finds ways to torment, punish, and discipline me. I did nothing wrong… nothing." Nan Zhiyun's voice cracked, and the grievances in her heart poured out, even her self-address changing.
This was the first time Yujingchen had seen her confront him like this, claiming she was not wrong.
"Every time you say I did something wrong, but I truly don't know where I erred. Is it wrong to like you? Is it wrong to be born into the Nan family? Is it wrong to enter the palace for you? Clearly, none of these are wrong… but why are they all wrong now? And why should you be the one to punish me for these wrongs?" Nan Zhiyun suddenly felt a sense of disorientation. She had done nothing wrong, yet why did it feel like everything she did was wrong?
Yujingchen watched her without a word. This time, Nan Zhiyun no longer showed fear. She continued, "I am not a royal princess, but I am the apple of the Nan family's eye, once the most proud, radiant, and sought-after eldest daughter in the capital. For you, I have lost my dignity, my original radiance, yet why can't your heart ever be warmed? Why, in front of you, am I not even worthy of being a person?" Nan Zhiyun's voice was very soft, as if it could be scattered by the wind at any moment.
"I've clearly done enough, but why do you still hate me so much? I've given you everything of myself, yet your heart remains so cold. Why is everything I do wrong? Why can't you show me even a shred of leniency? Is it because I deserve it? Fine, let's say I deserve it, let's say I brought it upon myself. So now I want to give up. I don't want to be an eyesore to you anymore. I want to leave, I want to give up. But why is it that just when I want to give up, you refuse to let go? Is tormenting me your means of amusement?" Nan Zhiyun didn't know where she found the courage.
"I said, I am willing to leave the palace, I am willing to leave you forever and never bother you again. Let me go… or just bestow death upon me." Nan Zhiyun lowered her hands.
"But you haven't. When I said I wanted to leave, you became enraged, you got angry, you yelled at me. When I asked for death, you also became furious, tormenting me, controlling me, taming me! What exactly do you want? Is tormenting me a way for you to vent?"
"I am a person, a living, breathing person. I have dignity, flesh and blood, and I am afraid of pain. But you never consider it. The more I care about something, the more I fear it, the more you use such methods to make me submit to you, to obey you, to become your pleasure of abuse! But I did nothing wrong! I owe you nothing! Am I not innocent? Is liking you my greatest sin? Is entering the palace my unforgivable crime?" Nan Zhiyun spoke a great deal in one breath. Throughout this, Yujingchen remained silent.
After Nan Zhiyun finished her impassioned speech, she looked into Yujingchen's eyes. His eyes were incredibly deep, but this time, Nan Zhiyun did not flinch away in fear.
"Have you said enough?" Yujingchen asked after the room had fallen silent.
Nan Zhiyun's eyelashes trembled slightly.
"I am terrifying, aren't I? You are also afraid, aren't you? So, do you still dare to provoke me? In your words, I am a tyrant, right? Then you should know that a tyrant does nothing that would be considered unexpected. No matter how cruel I am, it only further solidifies the title of tyrant. So why should I be merciful? You've said so much, do you think it's useful? What do you think the consequences will be if you say so much to a tyrant? Will a tyrant feel guilty? Or will they only become crueler, more savage, and more ruthless? Nan Zhiyun, what are you thinking? Are you trying to reason with me? Are you trying to make me feel guilty and sympathetic?" Yujingchen found it amusing, but beneath his amusement, a greater storm was brewing.
Nan Zhiyun fell silent. Yujingchen's current demeanor was indeed terrifying, but she had been holding on. This time, Nan Zhiyun did not want to concede defeat.
Yujingchen threw down the ruler in his hand. The ruler hit the ground with a clatter, making Nan Zhiyun tremble all over.
"Look, this is the difference. No matter how hard you try to pretend, fear is fear. Even the ruler falling to the ground makes you tremble all over with fear."
"What does this prove? It proves you are a weakling. Only the weak are afraid, are fearful. No matter how you resist, you can only survive in the palm of my hand. You fear me, you fear me from the bottom of your heart, because you know that no matter how much you resist, all you will get in the end is even more brutal punishment." Yujingchen revealed what he believed to be the essence of the matter without any pretense.
"You entered the palace because you wanted to take a gamble. A gamble that I might change my attitude towards you, a gamble that I might soften my heart because of everything you've done. But before you entered the palace, I warned you more than once to stay away from me. It was you who stubbornly clung to me with your one-sided affection. Nan Zhiyun, you are the one who did not cherish or protect yourself. So why should I respect you? In your eyes, I was once a stake in your gamble. Now that you've lost, you naturally have to pay the price." Yujingchen seemed to be reasoning, yet his words were utterly unreasonable. However, no one could find a way to refute them.
Before the gamble, he had said Nan Zhiyun would lose, and that she would pay a heavy price if she lost. But Nan Zhiyun had still gambled without hesitation. Now that she had truly lost, how could she possibly escape the price? One-sided affection demands that one accept the outcome of the gamble. As a gambler, Nan Zhiyun had lost completely, and Yujingchen was indeed ruthless and heartless.
How could one win by gambling with someone who had no heart? In Yujingchen's eyes, Nan Zhiyun was… foolish.