The current Nan Ziyun… was as fragile as a porcelain doll. It would take him a long time to make her well again, to return her to her former self. He hoped it wouldn't be too late.
Yu Jingchen gently patted her. Nan Ziyun had not calmed down, remaining in a state of fear. The imperial physicians had visited twice more, but Nan Ziyun’s fever refused to break, leaving her constantly warm to the touch.
Yu Jingchen ordered water to be brought and began to wipe her body. During this process, he noticed other scars on Nan Ziyun's body besides those from the caning. Over the past two years, Nan Ziyun's body had become a roadmap of injuries.
He had seen them in his previous life, but seeing them again this time was still shocking. Moreover, his current rebirth was slightly later than his previous life, so Nan Ziyun's injuries were much more severe than before.
As Yu Jingchen wiped her body, he caressed her scars, his hands trembling. Most were old wounds, but that didn't mean there were no new ones. How many injuries had she endured recently?
Many of these wounds had not fully healed in his previous life. Each time Yu Jingchen looked at these injuries, he was consumed by self-blame and guilt.
After wiping her body, Yu Jingchen pulled a soft quilt over Nan Ziyun. The weather had turned cold recently, and if she caught a chill, it would only lead to further complications.
“Your Majesty,” Xing Lai entered from outside.
“Dinner is ready, Your Majesty. It is time for you to dine,” Xing Lai said.
“There is no need. Have it removed,” Yu Jingchen was in no mood to eat.
“Your Majesty…” Xing Lai wanted to persuade him, but Yu Jingchen merely gave him a look, and he stopped himself, retreating.
Yu Jingchen’s gaze returned to Nan Ziyun. She had not woken up, and he couldn't help but worry. She had been in a daze for too long today, refusing to regain consciousness.
He sat there continuously. Nan Ziyun had spoken in her sleep, but her consciousness remained unclear. Yu Jingchen dared not leave, fearing that if he did, an unexpected situation might arise. The imperial physicians were waiting outside, ready to respond to any emergency.
He had been guarding here for too long today. The matters in Zhiyun Palace had not yet been dealt with. Consort Yun’s people had visited twice today, and Xing Lai had turned them all away. It was laughable. Didn't they understand His Majesty's current attitude? They still insisted on sending people to inquire. What good would more questions bring? In the end, wouldn't they be the ones to suffer?
Look, here they came again. Xing Lai watched the approaching person, a wave of annoyance rising in his heart. He thought, if they were so eager to court death, it was no longer his concern. So, Xing Lai entered the room and saw His Majesty’s doting affection for Consort Shu. He began to offer a silent prayer for Consort Yun.
“Your Majesty, Consort Yun has sent someone. They have come quite a few times today. They say they wish to invite Your Majesty to see her. Consort Yun has just lost her child today and is making a scene, refusing to take her medicine, and is asking Your Majesty to preside over the matter…” Xing Lai said, observing Yu Jingchen’s expression. As expected, impatience had already appeared on Yu Jingchen’s face.
“If she refuses to take her medicine, the imperial physicians need not go. As for presiding over the matter? Consort Yun framed Consort Shu, her crime is unforgivable. From today onwards, she is demoted to commoner status and banished to the cold palace, never to leave!” Yu Jingchen erupted in anger. In his previous life, he had not been without leniency towards Consort Yun, but what she had done to Nan Ziyun… a hundred deaths would not suffice now. (Previous context: This refers to Chen Xiurong, who was later promoted to Chen Zhaoyuan. As for what she did, the most important clue is in Chapter 52.)
“Yes,” Xing Lai had already anticipated the outcome, so he was not surprised. He glanced at His Majesty, who was coaxing Consort Shu, and retreated. How times had changed…
As soon as this decree was issued, it was known to almost all the concubines in the harem. Although many knew that Consort Yun’s miscarriage must have had other reasons, no one expected His Majesty to treat Consort Yun this way. Furthermore, Consort Yun should not have resorted to such means to frame Nan Ziyun, especially since Nan Ziyun was out of favor at the time. No one truly understood what had happened between them.
“No…” Nan Ziyun’s delirious murmurs interrupted Yu Jingchen’s silence. He looked at Nan Ziyun. She was not awake, but he could tell she was having another nightmare, her entire body becoming restless.
“It hurts so much,” Nan Ziyun struggled. Yu Jingchen feared she would aggravate her injuries, yet he dared not use too much force.
Nan Ziyun felt as if someone was grabbing her, as if a vast net was behind her. No matter how she tried to escape, she could not break free. The net tightened around her, and she felt suffocated, wishing she could die…
As Nan Ziyun struggled, Yu Jingchen felt something was wrong. “Yun’er?” he called out.
Nan Ziyun could not hear him. It was so dark around her. She could see nothing, hear nothing. Who could come and save her?
“Nan Ziyun?” Yu Jingchen called again.
Perhaps hearing someone call her name, she slowly opened her eyes. The scene before her stunned her for a long time. Where was this? Why didn't she know? It hurt so much… The severe pain in her back made it difficult for her to breathe.
“Awake?” Yu Jingchen saw that Nan Ziyun seemed to have woken up, so he spoke softly in her ear, his voice so gentle it was almost suffocating.
Perhaps he would not have been accustomed to speaking like this before, but having been with Nan Ziyun in his previous life, he had long since become accustomed to this way of speaking, so his voice was uncharacteristically gentle.
Nan Ziyun was somewhat dazed. The voice was familiar, but… she couldn’t recall who it belonged to. Who would coax her like this?
Nan Ziyun’s consciousness was fuzzy. Yu Jingchen, anxious, squatted down beside her. “Yun’er? Are you awake? Hmm?”
This time, Nan Ziyun heard him. She tried hard to focus on the scene before her, only to see Yu Jingchen. In that moment, the shadows in her heart overwhelmed all other emotions. She recoiled backward. Perhaps due to extreme fear, her instinctive reaction was somewhat overzealous, and as she flinched away, she accidentally bumped against her wounds.
It hurt so much… Nan Ziyun was in such pain that she couldn't make a sound. Yu Jingchen was also startled by her reaction and quickly pulled her back.
“Good girl, be careful. You have injuries.” Yu Jingchen held her in his arms. Nan Ziyun tried to pull away, her body trembling uncontrollably.
“Good girl, don’t be afraid. It’s alright…” Yu Jingchen’s heart ached. What should he do? What could he do?
“No… don’t hit… I didn’t harm her child… don’t hit…” Nan Ziyun murmured. Yu Jingchen heard her clearly and felt guilty. He wished he could hit himself, but it was impossible; what had happened had happened.
“You won’t be hit. No one will hit you again. I know. I know you are innocent. It’s all my fault. I didn’t discern right from wrong. I didn’t protect you. It’s all my fault. Don’t be afraid, okay? I know I was wrong. Don’t be afraid.” Yu Jingchen patted her back, trying to comfort her.
Nan Ziyun’s body trembled uncontrollably from fear. Yu Jingchen, holding her, knew how terrifying her reaction was. This time, she was truly frightened…
“I didn’t harm her… don’t hit me, it hurts so much… spare me…” Nan Ziyun repeated these words constantly. Yu Jingchen’s heart ached, but he could only use these few phrases to soothe her.
“You won’t be hit again. It’s alright. It’s all over. Don’t be afraid.”
Yu Jingchen carefully avoided her wounds and let Nan Ziyun rest in his embrace. Whether it was from fear, pain, or something else, Nan Ziyun began to cry. Yu Jingchen felt a warmth spreading in his embrace.
Nan Ziyun remained restless. Yu Jingchen could only wait for her to calm down. However, given her condition, it was unlikely she would recover quickly. Fearing that she might develop other problems, Yu Jingchen lowered his head and looked at the person in his arms. “Don’t be afraid anymore, okay? Look at me, hmm?” Yu Jingchen coaxed her gently.
Nan Ziyun couldn't hear him, only wanting to hide. Yu Jingchen cupped Nan Ziyun’s face. Nan Ziyun looked at him, her eyes filled with undisguised fear.
“Don’t be afraid. You won’t be hit again. No one will hit you anymore. I know you were framed today. It’s all my fault. I was wrong. I couldn’t tell right from wrong. Don’t be afraid, okay? You are still injured, and if you bump into your wounds again later, it will hurt.” Yu Jingchen tidied Nan Ziyun’s hair. She had been cleaned several times today, and the injured areas were on her back, so she was essentially unclothed.
Nan Ziyun looked at this scene, unable to come back to her senses. Was this Yu Jingchen?
“I didn’t harm her… I didn’t mean to harm your child… I didn’t admit guilt…” Nan Ziyun looked at Yu Jingchen with extreme humility, her eyes brimming with tears, blurring her vision. Seeing the despair in her eyes felt like falling into a bottomless black abyss, as if the surrounding air was weeping…
“I know,” Yu Jingchen stroked her head, his voice filled with comfort. His heart felt like it was being pierced by needles.
“I know you were framed. This time it’s my fault. Can I apologize to you? Or, when you feel better, you can hit me to vent your anger. Don’t be afraid, hmm? Is that okay?” Yu Jingchen coaxed her patiently.
Nan Ziyun remained silent, still dominated by fear. But… why had he changed so much? When she was punished today, was it he who ordered it to stop? But… it was clearly he who wanted to punish her.
It had hurt so much when the boards struck her. She thought she would die there, but… compared to her current state, she would have preferred to die directly. She felt there was no point in holding on any longer. She no longer wanted to live. This incident was the final blow. She… no longer had the courage to continue living.
“Grant me death… okay? I want to die… let me die…” Nan Ziyun looked at Yu Jingchen. Hearing her words, Yu Jingchen’s entire face contorted.
“What nonsense are you saying? Don’t say it again. You will get better. Don’t be afraid.” Yu Jingchen wiped her tears.
Nan Ziyun shook her head. “Please… I don’t want this anymore. I beg you, grant me death.”
“Alright, don’t say it. I’ll be unhappy soon. Such words are unpleasant. Don’t think about them.” Yu Jingchen said in a gentle tone, and then hugged her back into his arms. “When you are better, you can do whatever you feel will vent your anger, but these words are forbidden. Be good.” Yu Jingchen persuaded her patiently. Nan Ziyun didn't understand why Yu Jingchen had suddenly changed, but this Yu Jingchen terrified her even more.
“Are you hungry? Would you like to eat something? Is there anything you’d like to eat? Tell me, and I’ll have it sent over, okay?” Yu Jingchen tried to distract her.
Nan Ziyun did not reply. Yu Jingchen was not annoyed. For Nan Ziyun, what she needed most now was comfort, and he would give her his utmost patience.
“Eat something. You haven’t eaten for a long time. Are you hungry?” Yu Jingchen placed a hand on Nan Ziyun’s stomach. “Your stomach tells me it’s hungry, so what would you like to eat?” Yu Jingchen whispered in her ear.
“Hmm?” Not receiving a response from Nan Ziyun, he asked again.
“Not speaking anymore? So, anything is fine?” Yu Jingchen continued to press.
Nan Ziyun turned her head away and remained silent.
“If you don’t say, then I’ll have them prepare something. If they make something you don’t like, you’ll have to eat it all, okay?” Yu Jingchen deliberately told her this, but he wouldn't force her to eat if she didn’t want to later.
Nan Ziyun still showed no reaction. Yu Jingchen stopped asking and called for food to be prepared. He then carefully placed Nan Ziyun back down, letting her lie on her stomach.
“I’ll help you apply medicine. It will hurt a little, okay?” Yu Jingchen said, reaching for the medicine, but Nan Ziyun stopped him.
“I don’t want the medicine… I don’t want it…” Nan Ziyun knew it would hurt and refused to have it applied.
Yu Jingchen looked at her with a pained expression, but…
“Good girl, you need the medicine. Otherwise, it will take a long time to heal. Endure a little pain, okay?” Yu Jingchen stroked Nan Ziyun’s head. He knew it would hurt, but they couldn’t possibly not apply the medicine.
“I don’t want the medicine… it hurts so much…” Nan Ziyun’s eyes were filled with pleading. Her back was already burning, let alone applying the medicine.
Seeing Nan Ziyun like this, Yu Jingchen fell silent. Finally… he relented. “Then we won’t apply the medicine for now. Rest well, and we’ll talk about it later, okay?” He also touched her forehead. She still had a slight fever.
Yu Jingchen frowned slightly. Why hadn't the fever subsided yet? She must be uncomfortable with this fever.