Chapter 187: Chapter 184: Do you not feel upset in your heart?
The two of them chatted over tea for half a day, unexpectedly getting along well. Shang Ruyi invited Lei Yu to stay for a meal, and by the time she got up to leave, it was almost 5 PM.
Shang Ruyi accompanied her to the door.
Lei Yu mounted her horse, ready to leave. She paused, looked back at Shang Ruyi, and said softly, "I will soon be joining my father to quell the rebellion in Hebei. The outcome is uncertain, and in the coming days, we might find it difficult to meet again."
Shang Ruyi replied, "You must be careful."
Lei Yu gave a bitter smile, glanced at her again, and said, "In such chaotic times, a small force of soldiers and horses is our way to survive. You at the Duke Mansion... must also be cautious."
With that, she swiftly turned around, mounted her horse, and left.
Shang Ruyi watched her figure disappear at the end of the long street and recalled her words, pondering for a while before slowly turning to walk back.
As soon as she returned to her room, Chang Wan asked, "Young Madam, should we prepare dinner?"
Shang Ruyi thought for a moment and said, "Let the kitchen prepare for father and second brother. I don’t need any."
"Understood."
Chang Wan responded, turned, and left.
Shang Ruyi sat down and glanced at her. Chang Wan was exceptionally beautiful, rarely had she seen such tender-skinned maids, with a graceful figure, walking with a willow-like elegance. Shang Ruyi found her back view appealing.
It was Tushere who glanced over, then turned back to Shang Ruyi with a look as if wanting to say something but holding back.
Noticing her hesitation, Shang Ruyi couldn’t help but laugh, "Come on, if you have something to say, say it quickly. If you keep holding it in the whole afternoon, you’ll make yourself sick."
Tushere hurriedly tried to speak but hesitated again, then slowly said, "Miss, why did you choose her?"
Shang Ruyi raised an eyebrow slightly, "Hmm?"
"I’ve heard that the Duke intended for Aunt Yun to attend to Miss; she’s reliable and good. Why didn’t you choose her, but chose this Chang Wan instead?"
"What happened? Didn’t you always say this Chang Wan was good? Why don’t you like her now?"
"Saying she’s good is one thing; serving Miss and the Young Master is another."
Shang Ruyi smiled at her, "How is it different?"
Tushere bit her lip and finally said softly, "This morning, the Young Master woke up early. Normally, we are the ones serving him, but today, she rushed over and changed his clothes and shoes, without letting anyone else intervene."
"..."
Shang Ruyi was slightly taken aback.
Tushere continued in a low voice, "Especially, when she was dressing the Young Master, the way she did it—so intimate."
Shang Ruyi was silent for a while, then smiled, trying not to reveal her thoughts, "That’s not bad, gives you all a break."
"It’s not that,"
Tushere pouted, "I’m not the type who loves to slack off. What’s important is her manner when doing these things, as if, as if—" she hesitated all afternoon and finally said softly, "as if the Young Master should be hers..."
Saying this, Tushere’s face turned a bit red.
Shang Ruyi looked at her.
After a moment of silence, she smiled and said, "You, usually slow-witted, are sharp with this matter."
Tushere widened her eyes at her, "Miss, you mean—"
Shang Ruyi said, "Imbecile, are you truly stupid or just pretending to be so? You could clearly see this, why couldn’t you see that Chang Wan would eventually be given to Yu Wenye."
"...?!"
Tushere looked utterly incredulous.
Shang Ruyi sighed and said with a bitter smile, "You forgot when the people in the tea room falsely accused Chang Wan, how did you defend her? You said she is—proud, has read books for years, and mother doesn’t let her do rough work."
"Indeed."
"Now, let me ask you, which family of nobles would keep such a person?"
"..."
"Mother, in her lifetime, was simple and least fond of hustle and bustle, usually having only Aunt Yun close to her. Why bring Chang Wan along and not let her do rough work? What was the reason?"
Tushere suddenly had a realization, "Could it be...?"
At this point, her face flushed.
In fact, the reasoning was simple. Anyone from a Gatekeeper’s Son family who hadn’t married by sixteen or seventeen would certainly have a maid; one to take care of his daily needs, and secondly, to prevent him from being led astray outside and catching any unclean diseases. Thus, as a mother, one would definitely choose a young and beautiful maid from one’s side, ready in advance to give to her son when he reached the right age.
This Chang Wan was evidently chosen by Guan Yunmu.
It’s just unknown why she hadn’t been given to him even after Yu Wenye was married. But this time, when Yu Wenquan asked Shang Ruyi how to choose, it was clear he was probing her intention, and Shang Ruyi chose her, going along with his plan.
Tushere was quiet for a long time before she turned to Shang Ruyi and said softly, "Miss, don’t you feel uncomfortable in your heart?"
...
Shang Ruyi was silent for a while, but at this moment, she didn’t feel the uncontrollable distress in her chest but instead recalled the words Yu Wenye once said to her—
It was just a transaction.
Since it was a transaction, then, the deal was done. Why feel uncomfortable? She was merely fulfilling her duty as the Young Madam Yu Wen.
So she laughed and said, "What’s there to be upset about?"
Although Tushere knew that not being upset was better, hearing her say she wasn’t upset actually made her inexplicably uneasy. She whispered, "But you’ve been married to the Young Master for less than a year, and like this—Miss, you really have no feelings at all."
Shang Ruyi calmly said, "None."
Seeing Tushere still wanted to ask something, she didn’t want to hear her continue, so she interrupted and said, "I am his wife, more importantly, I am still the Duke’s daughter-in-law."
"..."
"These are my duties."
Tushere was startled, "The Duke’s daughter-in-law?"
"Indeed,"
Mentioning this identity, Shang Ruyi’s expression, even her belief, became more resolute, "As the Duke’s daughter-in-law, just fulfilling this role is enough. Any other emotions are extraneous. She’er, don’t talk about these things anymore in the future; they sound bad, understand?"
"..."
For some reason, having grown up together, Tushere knew her Miss was a very soft and emotional person, but now, or rather, ever since she got married, she has become extremely hard.
Though this might not be necessarily bad, she always worried for her.
But given the situation now, it wasn’t right to say more, so Tushere could only say quietly, "I understand."
"Alright, go out and see how the kitchen is doing. If father and second brother aren’t back yet, let them keep the meal warm, so they can eat warmly when they return."
"Understood."
Tushere responded, then turned and walked out.
But just as she opened the door, she suddenly let out a startled gasp, "Ah!"