Chapter 857: Whole
"Sari? I thought...but you were with the army..." I stammered, staring at her in shock.
She grinned, sitting beside me, still clutching my hand. With some surprise, I noticed she was wearing an off-shoulder dress. A green one, tied with a blue ribbon. It looked faded, and a hair too big.
"I was, but then Wisp said we should come here!"
I tilted my head, only to jump as a shadow mote flew out of her sleeve, landing on the ground by Zephryiss. It expanded, forming into Wisp, her curse demon guardian. He dusted himself off and smoothed his long, misty robes.
"Forgive the intrusion, my lady," he said, bowing low. "But the Lord of Ash instructed me to bring her to your side. Zephyriss was kind enough to bring us."
"Thank you," I said, looking up at the demon lord.
She smiled faintly. "I was growing bored of drifting around the city. So many elves and not enough battles. I did find a few inquisitors, though. Would you like me to take care of them?"
"No, we’d better not," I said, sighing. "Even if you did it secretly, they would still find a way to pin it on us, deserved or not. In fact, it would be better to make sure nothing does happen to them, just in case."
She sniffed. "I wouldn’t go that far, but I’ll leave them alone for now. If you’ll excuse me?"
Without waiting for a response, she took off, vanishing into the partly clouded sky.
"And there she goes," I murmured, shaking my head wryly. Even if we hadn’t been together long, I was already convinced of her capriciousness.
"She said you learned how to fly with magic," Sari said, eyes shining. "Could you teach me?"
I shivered, gripping her hand tighter. "N-not me. Korra did. R’lissea could probably teach you a spell, too, which might be easier with your type of magic. But it’s a sixth-level spell, so you’ll have to wait a bit."
"Oh." Her expression fell, crestfallen, but she perked up again. "Then I’ll have to get stronger, faster! I’m so close to the fourth level. I can practically feel it!"
I chuckled, letting go of her hand to ruffle her hair. Her tail wagged as she leaned into it, ears twitching.
"I’m not a child," she mumbled, blushing as I stopped.
"To me, you are," I said.
As the words left my mouth, my own cheeks warmed. Just how many times had this exact scenario played out with me in her place? I didn’t look so unconvincing when I protested, did I? And my tail wasn’t that expressive! Unlike Sari, I really didn’t like it...right?
"Have you made any progress on your soul?" Sari asked.
"Kind of," I said, "I’ve got a pretty good feel on where it is, but I still can’t use any of my abilities."
"Then why don’t I show you?" As I started to shake my head, she hurriedly said, "Not to see souls, but to feel what an ability feels like. Maybe, if you experience my Eyes, you can remember what yours feel like.
I hesitated, chewing on my lip. "I guess it’s worth a try," I finally relented. "But do you even know the spell?"
She nodded eagerly. "I studied it really hard. It was the second third-circle spell I learned how to cast."
I smiled, nodding slightly. "You’ve worked hard, haven’t you."
"Only so I can help you. Now sit still, it’s kind of hard to link to your soul if you’re moving about."
I straightened, holding my breath as she began to cast. Spells concerning the soul were dangerous if performed incorrectly, and I was already a little uncertain about her casting one on me without the ability to actually observe what she was doing with her mana. But I had faith in Sari...a little, at least. Enough.
"Link Soul!" Sari said, completing the spell.
I gasped, goosebumps erupted all over my body, as if a bucket of cold water were dumped on my head. Tendrils of unfamiliar power soaked through me, penetrating to the core. What I’d only been able to guess was that my soul lit up like a beacon, distinct as any muscle, bone, or vein.
"I feel something!" I gasped as a warmth stirred in my soul, thrumming like an instrument. "It’s faint, and warm, but it–" the power slipped away "--gone."
I sighed dejectedly, but Sari beamed.
"That’s wonderful! It took me like a year to feel that much when I learned I had an ability," she said. "Didn’t it take you some time, too?"
I took a deep breath, pushing down the despondency. "You’re right, I think it took a few weeks to really get a hang of the Eyes of Fate. And the Oracle of Eternity is a lot more complex than that. There’s no point getting discouraged now."
"We can keep working on it. I think that’s why Fyren wanted me to come here," she said.
"Yeah, let’s do it."
As I nodded to her suggestion, the mention of Fyren’s name brought to mind the apostle he had with him. They would be here tomorrow. Butterflies stirred in my stomach at the thought of Luke being here. We could walk in the gardens or find a place to watch the sunset together. There had to be somewhere like that in this forest, where you could see the entire sky through the trees.
My cheeks reddened at the thought, and I rubbed my horn bashfully. Maybe he didn’t want to, and I would bother him by–no, Korra had said to live without regrets. I really wanted to see the sun go down with him again. Even if it bothered him, I should at least try, right?
Sari coughed, staring at me curiously. My blush darkened as I quickly looked away, tail twitching.
"Thinking of someone in particular?" she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.
I covered my face. "N-no! Just...happy. Happy you’re here.
She giggled and hugged me. "Aww, thanks. Even if I know you’re lying. Now, let’s try again."
She cancelled her spell and cast it over again. This time, the rush of sensation wasn’t quite so overwhelming, and I got a better handle on what her ability actually felt like. Looking at Sari, I could see a faint halo around her, a whitish yellow that reminded me of sunlight. Not the harsh power of the Sun God, but warm, natural sunlight. It was concentrated in her chest, pulsing like a heart.
"Can you see?" she asked eagerly.
"Something, but I don’t understand what," I said. "Is that your soul?"
She placed a hand on her chest. "Is it here? Then yes."
"But what’s this aura?" I asked, trailing a hand through the light. I was disappointed when it didn’t react to my touch, nor did I feel anything. That meant it wasn’t a true aura like mine, or even a false aura like the pressure exerted by a powerful soul.
Sari hesitated, chewing the inside of her cheek. After a moment, she leaned a little closer, eyeing the Star Guard.
"That’s the special part of my ability. I don’t really get a good read on people’s strength or souls, not like you do, anyway. It’s all that King Alverin wanted me to use it for, but it’s just a small part of my ability."
"And that is...? If you don’t mind sharing," I added quickly.
She smiled. "Never with you. The shard called it Eyes of Being. It’s hard to describe, but it gives me a sense of who a person is and what they’re capable of. If I’m really familiar with the person, I can get a read on their mood, feelings, or even what they might try to do."
"I can see why you might worry about how people will view that. It’s a scary thing to be so vulnerable before someone else, and people hate that which they can’t control or understand," I said, "Is that why you were so comfortable with me in Westfall Village?"
She nodded. "I wasn’t very good at using it back then, but I knew enough to know when someone was kind and gentlehearted. Also..." Her gaze strayed from mine, "It told me you were broken and hurting. Not on the outside, but the inside."
I smiled, and she started, ears twitching in surprise.
"I’m alright, Sari, I know who I was then, and who I am now. You don’t need to protect me from it," I said gently.
Her ears relaxed, and she smiled. "Oh. It’s just, um, you’re still hurt, and I didn’t want to, you know...."
I forced a small smile. "I think I always will be. You’ll never forget what Alverin did to you, right? It’s the same for me, only...there was a lot that happened. But I don’t want to focus on those things anymore. I want to keep smiling, to enjoy the time those long years of darkness bought me. No regrets."
"Then I’m going to do the best I can to help you!" she said. "But, er, I don’t think I can help much more today. We’ve already been going for like an hour, and I, well, my mana pool isn’t quite as big as yours."
I smiled, nodding. "Of course. There’s no need to push yourself so hard. We can practice tomorrow. Why don’t you run along and explore the manor?"
"This is Selena’s house, right?"
I nodded, watching as she scampered off, Wisp following her with an apologetic glance. That demon really was becoming too human. Kind of like Kahlen, actually.
Wait, were demons more impressionable than they seemed?
Shaking my head, I leaned back, holding a hand to my chest. Sari’s spell faded as she grew distant, but the warmth of my soul remained, pulsing with light. It was so perfect and clear I didn’t understand how I could have forgotten it, or even failed to sense it before. It was a part of me, as familiar as my tail. And within it, I could feel the edge of a light just like the Eyes of Being. I couldn’t quite reach it yet, but with some more practice...
"Is everything alright?" Luxxa asked.
I sniffled, wiping away a tear. "More than alright. I can feel it again."
The Star Guard gathered around me, congratulating me. I couldn’t keep the smile from my face, even as tears streamed down my cheeks. At long last, missing memories or not, I finally felt whole.