Chapter 195: Stuck in the past
Late at night...
The study was cloaked in silence. Nathaniel had drifted into a sleep, slumped back in his chair, Nora’s photograph pressed tightly against his chest.
But his sleep was anything but peaceful. In his dream, icy water closed over him, dragging him down. He thrashed wildly, arms striking the surface in desperation.
"Help!" he cried. On the bank of the lake stood a shadowed figure. His heart pounded harder as he cried out desperately, "I can’t swim. Please, help me."
Yet the figure didn’t move to help him. Then it turned and fled, leaving him to sink deeper.
His chest burned as though fire licked through his lungs. He was losing his strength speedily, sinking deeper into the water. Just as he thought he was going to die, a hand grabbed his wrist.
"Hold on. I’ll get you out." That voice sounded sweet and reassuring.
Hope surged within him as he was yanked upward, water splashing around him.
When he was finally out of the water, his body was limp. He could barely keep his eyes open. He blinked against the haze as he saw a face hovering over him, gently patting his cheeks.
"Stay with me."
Through blurred vision, he recognized her. "Nora," he whispered hoarsely, reaching for her. But as his fingers brushed her cheek, her features transformed into Zara’s face.
Nathaniel jolted awake with a sharp gasp, breath ragged, sweat clinging to his temple. His chest heaved as his eyes darted around.
He was still in the study, seated at his desk. His trembling hands clutched the photograph of Nora.
He stared at it, confusion darkening his gaze. It was Nora who had pulled him from the water. Why did he see Zara in her place?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, when Zara woke, she instinctively reached across the bed, expecting Nathaniel’s warmth beside her. Instead, her hand met only the chill of untouched sheets. Blinking awake, she noticed the bedding on his side was perfectly smooth, as though he had never returned during the night.
Her brows drew together in puzzlement. ’He didn’t come back to the bedroom?’
Throwing off the blanket, she slipped out of bed and padded toward the study. At the door, she hesitated, her fingers hovering over the knob, uncertain if she should disturb him. Finally, brushing the hesitation aside, she turned and stepped in.
There he was slumped forward on the desk, head resting heavily on his arms. The laptop was still open, and the desk lamp was still spreading bright light over the table.
’He must have dozed off while working. He didn’t even switch off the light or shut the laptop,’ she thought. She let out a small sigh, shaking her head as she approached.
But just as she reached out to turn off the lamp, her hand stilled midair. Her eyes landed on the photograph tucked beneath his hand—Nora’s face staring back at her.
Zara stood still, her breath shallow. Her chest tightened so sharply it was as though someone had reached inside and squeezed the breath out of her. Slowly, she drew her hand back.
The sight was achingly familiar—Nathaniel clinging to Nora’s photo as though it were the only anchor in his life. She had seen this before, and it had hurt then. But now... now the sting cut deeper than ever.
He had pleaded with her for a chance, made her believe there could be a new beginning, that he was ready to step out of Nora’s shadow. Yet here he was, still trapped in the past, still holding onto the woman he loved more than anything else.
Her throat constricted, tears spilling freely down her cheeks as the realization pressed down on her.
Nothing had changed. Nathaniel’s heart remained sealed, forever belonging to Nora.
She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to steady herself. She wanted to wake him, to shake him, to demand—’What about me? Do I matter less?’
But the words never reached her lips. Instead, she forced herself to swallow her turmoil.
’What a fool I am,’ she muttered to herself, her lips curling into a self-mocking smile. ’Still hoping to win his heart... when he was never mine. And never will be.’
She turned and sneaked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
At the faint click of the door closing, Nathaniel stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He realized he had slumped forward on the desk.
’I must’ve dozed off here,’ he thought.
The glare of the table lamp made him squint as he rolled his neck, trying to ease the stiffness. Every muscle in his back and shoulders ached.
"Ugh," he muttered under his breath. "I really shouldn’t have slept here."
His gaze shifted to Nora’s photo resting beneath his hand. He picked it up gently, brushing his thumb across her face, and a faint smile touched his lips.
"I once thought I’d never escape the pain," he whispered. "The emptiness of losing you is still there, but it doesn’t cut the same way anymore. Zara has filled that void, healed me."
For the first time, he truly recognized what had changed—Zara hadn’t just stepped into his life; she had begun to take root in his heart, softening the shadows Nora had left behind.
"I’m ready to love her now," he murmured. "And I know it’s what you would’ve wanted."
A quiet laugh escaped him as memories of his moments with Zara flickered through his mind. "When you asked me to marry her back then, I was so angry. I thought you were punishing me for not being there, for failing to see how sick you really were. But now I understand... you just wanted me to find happiness after you."
His gaze softened. "I don’t resent you anymore, Nora. And I no longer carry bitterness toward Zara either. She is the light in my life. I’ll treasure her—always. That’s my promise."
He slid the photo back into the drawer and left the study. As he entered the bedroom, his steps faltered—Zara had just stepped out of the bathroom.
Wrapped in a towel, droplets still clinging to her skin, she looked radiant, her freshly washed face glowing.
Nathaniel’s mind instantly drifted to the memory of those intimate moments he had shared with her under the shower. If he had known she was already awake, he wouldn’t have missed the chance to join her in the shower.
Desire stirred within him, darkening his gaze as he started toward her. But before he could get closer, Zara turned away and disappeared into the closet.
Nathaniel’s expression shifted. Something felt off. She hadn’t greeted him, hadn’t smiled, hadn’t spoken a single word.
That cold silence... he knew it all too well.
Zara only acted this way when she was hurt or upset.
’Is she angry because I never came back to bed last night?’ he wondered.