Chapter 293: A whole lot of emotion, not a lot of communication
Edgar was a lot angrier then Cass gave him credit for.
Cass had wanted to make this into a situation where he had been poking fun at Edgar, showing him new fashions trends, all that. He had wanted it to be a fun experience.
Instead, Edgar just went with whatever Cass suggested. No fighting, no nothing. No comments, no back and forth. Nothing.
Cass wanted to pull his hair out.
Sir Sanders wasn’t any help either. He was practically just a shadow, worse than Sir Forsythe could be sometimes. They had only gone to two shops, spending about 30 minutes in each before Cass reached his breaking point.
It had been an hour. An hour! Of Edgar behaving calm, rational, like the damn son of a duke. Not the man that Cass knew, and not the man that Cass wanted to go on an outing with. Long gone was the man who had teased him in the carriage, replaced with a man who looked at others like they were shit on the bottom of his shoe.
Cass was pissed. Furious, actually. He knew he needed to apologise, but anger coursed through him so hard and fast that he wasn’t sure if he could temper it long enough to apologise.
They left the second store, and once they hit the pavement, Cass began searching around. For an alcove, for a little spot where he could pull the man into for a little bit of privacy.
It was one of the first times that Sir Sanders was truly helpful, since he pointed out a spot for Cass to go, and with a nod, Cass grabbed Edgar by the hand and yanked him into the small, narrow street between two businesses. Edgar let out a small shout of surprise, but let Cass drag him in there.
It didn’t open up like the small spot that Edgar had taken Cass to when they’d been out on the town ages ago. Instead, it did open up into a slightly wider, more obscure area, but that meant it allowed the two men to be face to face now for their confrontation.
Cass slammed the other man against the bricks of the building next to them, glaring at him. He pushed Edgar’s hat back slightly so that they could meet each other’s gaze.
"I understand that I messed up in the carriage, but are you fucking serious?" Cass demanded, and Edgar stared at Cass, completely taken aback.
"W-What?" Edgar asked, and Cass stepped in closer, furious. He was practically nose to nose with the other man, getting in his face under the brim of his hat.
"What. The fuck. Was that?" Cass demanded. "That listlessness? The letting me do whatever the hell I want? Are you so mad at me that you aren’t going to contribute a damn thing to anything I say?" Cass demanded and watched as Edgar’s eyes widened in complete shock. He raised his hands tentatively.
"Cass, that’s not what I was doing." Edgar protested, but Cass didn’t want to hear it.
"Not what you were doing? Are you being fucking serious right now? I thought I was shopping with a doll in the shape of Edgar Vespertine, not the man himself. If I had known you were going to be like this, I would have just gone alone." Cass hissed. He didn’t mean it. He just wouldn’t have gone shopping at all.
Cass watched as Edgar flinched, before he closed his eyes.
"I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. I wasn’t even that angry about what you said, I was just mulling over the words. And I..." He sighed. "I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I’m...different in the capital then I am back home." Edgar muttered quietly.
"What does that mean?" Cass demanded. He knew it was a little cruel to push it when Edgar was like this, but Cass had spent an hour trying to get anything out of him. Cass had been trying for an hour to get an opinion from him, and Edgar had barely spoken to him.
It was like the man had shut down.
Cass realised, finally, past the anger and worry that had filled him, what Edgar might be getting at. Then he felt like a complete fucking ass because out of everyone, Cass should have realised what was going on.
Was Lord Blackburn not the exact same fucking way?
Cass took a step back, his back hitting the brick wall behind him as he covered his face with his hands.
"Cass? What’s wrong?" Edgar asked, and Cass hated that he was worried about him given how he’d just gotten mad at him.
"Fuck. Sorry Edgar. I, of all people, should know better." Cass muttered, looking up at him as he pulled his hands down his face. Edgar stared at him, before his face flushed.
"It’s okay. It’s totally fine. You had every right to be mad at me. I just slipped into old habits." Edgar told him and Cass groaned.
"No. It’s not fine, and you’re allowed to slip into old habits. I do the same thing all the time. Like flying off the handle. Fuck. Sorry." Cass muttered and Edgar grew flustered now.
"It’s fine. I was just surprised that you came at me as uh, aggressively as you did. I’m not upset. Either way, we’ve addressed the issue. We can just...start over, can’t we? It’s not like we’ve even gone to many stores yet. The day isn’t ruined." Edgar was being gentle, speaking softly, and Cass let out a soft exhale.
"I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did in the carriage about your type, and I’m sorry I blew up on you like I did. Unlike how I normally am here...I was a loose cannon in my dream." Cass muttered. He was being objective about himself.
He was hard working, dedicated, and uninterested in most people. But if someone pissed him off? There was a reason he’d told Lucian that he was a fighter. Cass didn’t really back down. It wasn’t a pride thing, it was an honour thing. If he stood down once, it meant that others thought they could push him around.
Even if he lost, it just made them understand that he would continue to fight every time. That thought alone had scared away a few people from bothering him and his sister.
Edgar looked over at Cass, how upset he was about the whole thing, before Edgar glanced around and then yanked Cass against him, pulling him in for a hug.
"It’s okay. You shouldn’t apologise this much. It is unbecoming of the son of a duke." Edgar teased. "Besides, it’s not like you were exactly wrong. I did...move between two heroes rather quickly." Edgar muttered. "I just also need to remember that I don’t need to be what my father wants me to be. Especially since me being what he wanted me to be chased away two heroes from being honest with me." Edgar said with a bitter laugh.
"You didn’t chase us away." Cass told him and Edgar gave him a squeeze.
"Didn’t I? Neither of you trusted me enough to tell me the truth. You didn’t even tell me you were a hero because you wanted to. I forced you to tell me because Ava knew. Fiona didn’t tell me she was interested in the same sex, I had to find out in almost the worst way possible. The only worse way I could imagine is if I walked in on them." Cass winced. Yeah, given his reaction when he was told...that probably would have been the thing that broke him.
"I’m still keeping things from you." Cass admitted, and Edgar let out a terribly deep sigh.
"See? So I really should learn my lessons. Being what my father wanted has never gotten me anywhere. All it’s gotten me is...a half life. Where I’m not happy, but nor am I sad because I don’t even know what I’m missing." Edgar squeezed Cass. "So, I actually appreciate you calling me out and...getting me out of that house."
Cass stood there, in between two buildings, with Edgar. His arms were around him, and Cass’ arms were around the other man. It was...surreal.
That’s what this was.
Cass had been so sure of what was going on only a few minutes ago, and now here he was, calmed down. By Edgar of all people.
He had to be losing it.
"We should start over." Cass muttered. "Different shops though. They had terrible selections." Cass said. Edgar started laughing.
"Can I be honest about something?" Edgar asked and Cass glanced up at him. His head bumped the brim of Edgar’s hat. "I wasn’t even paying attention. I was too busy watching your ass. Especially when you bent over. I wasn’t even paying attention to the clothes." Cass felt his face warm at the confession.
"Edgar." Cass said, chastising the man and Edgar grinned. He leaned in, pressing another kiss on his cheek.
"When are you going to start calling me Eddie, hmm? I think it would be sweet. Or, you could call me Baby too? Or Dear? Sweetheart? Cupcake? Sugar? What do you think?" Edgar asked and Cass made a face.
"Can’t you be happy that I’m calling you by your first name? I’m not exactly fond of nicknames." Cass told him and Edgar let out a dramatic sigh.
"I know, but you could try, couldn’t you? Lucian calls you Sweetness and Sweetheart and you haven’t stopped him." Cass stared at Edgar.
"Do you think I could stop him? He’s probably bigger than the house we’re staying in right now in his real form, and he breathes fire. There are some things that for safety, I let slide." Cass deadpanned.
Edgar blinked, stunned, before he burst into laughter. Cass wasn’t aware he was going to kiss him until he did it, holding onto his hat so it didn’t fall to the ground. It wasn’t a deep kiss, just a quick peck as he pulled away with a smile.
"I’m going to tell him you said that, just to watch him pout." Edgar teased and Cass groaned.
"I don’t like how close you two are getting." Cass muttered out loud and Edgar chuckled.
"Why? Feeling outnumbered? You could talk to Fiona, see if she has any pointers. Though, she drew thicker lines than you are." Edgar teased and Cass felt his face warm.
Fuck. Edgar was right. What was he doing wrong?
Cass glanced at Edgar as they separated, Edgar adjusting his clothes since Cass had slammed him against the wall.
"What am I doing that’s different?" Cass asked carefully, and Edgar paused. When he raised his gaze, it was calculating again.
"I don’t want to tell you, because I know you’ll stop. I’ll leave it to you to think about. If you guess correctly, I’ll tell you the truth." Edgar said with a smile. Cass hated that. He wanted to argue about it, but Edgar grabbed his hand, yanking him back down the narrow street. "Sir Sanders is waiting, so we should get going." He said with a grin and Cass grumbled, but let him pull him down the street.
He was just going to have to figure all this out on his own. Like usual.