Chapter 394: 0248 Since Parting (Two in One)_2
"Mm... mm." Yun Qian visibly relaxed a little.
"..."
Then the atmosphere suddenly became tense.
After all, Yun Qian felt she had done something wrong and let him know things he didn’t want to know.
Xu Chang’an was also pondering something.
How should acceptance and rejection be defined?
Since Miss Yun knows everything, Xu Chang’an sometimes wonders whether he should retrieve all the memories he lost from her.
Then he could decide whether to abandon the past and wholeheartedly become Miss Yun’s husband.
Or accept the past, and even search for his family.
But now, Yun Qian inadvertently let slip something, making Xu Chang’an realize he’s not a man of firm resolve.
He had to admit.
When Yun Qian mentioned his mother was still alive, his heartbeat did indeed skip for a moment.
It seems in those lost memories, the existence of "Mother" might be very important.
Which is very normal.
When Miss Yun found him, he was just a child, and for children... mothers are naturally important.
"Miss, I really am a useless person." Xu Chang’an suddenly laughed, shaking his head: "Avoidance may be shameful, but it really works, and works very well."
"I don’t understand." Yun Qian looked at him.
"It’s nothing, I still don’t want to know these things right now." Xu Chang’an said.
"Why." Yun Qian could feel he didn’t truly want to know.
"Because of you."
"Me?"
"Mm." Xu Chang’an rubbed Yun Qian’s forehead where he had flicked it.
For him now, the most important things are Miss Yun’s cultivation and her frail constitution, he doesn’t want to be distracted by anything.
"Miss, the space in one’s heart is limited, so I never believe in having a heart that encompasses the world." Xu Chang’an placed his fingers over his heart, listening to its steady beat, and said calmly: "The more you add, the less room there is, and here... it’s full now."
No parents, no relatives, no past.
In this situation, what he can offer Miss Yun is a whole, entire heart.
Unexpectedly, Yun Qian looked at him and said: "I’m not happy."
"Why?" Xu Chang’an didn’t understand.
"I’ve said before, if you were more fickle... I would be happy." Yun Qian said.
What happens when a husband is focused only on her?
She doesn’t know.
Those memories are all locked in the deepest forbidden zone, she doesn’t want to recall even a bit.
"Don’t you always say I’m a fickle person?" Xu Chang’an asked.
"Loving only one person... can’t be considered fickle." Yun Qian looked at him, using his words.
Xu Chang’an sighed: "Turns out, you listened to what I said, knowing when to use it."
Yun Qian said nothing, she reassured herself about Xu Chang’an’s feelings, making her feel that her earlier slip was a mistake.
And this mistake is not something that can be fixed with a light flick on the forehead.
However, her body can no longer take any more bullying, so she refrained from saying to let him teach her a lesson.
Anyway, he wouldn’t bear to.
——
"At least for now, I don’t want to know." Xu Chang’an, having decided how to approach the past, naturally wouldn’t change because of Yun Qian’s inexplicable words.
A joke.
He wanted to offer Yun Qian a whole heart, and didn’t even have the thought to raise a pet, let alone talk about family.
As for considering things from a family’s perspective—he always says he’s a selfish person, which isn’t a lie.
Xu Chang’an took a deep breath, driving out these useless thoughts from his memory, then resumed the previous topic.
"Wait." He suddenly remembered something and blinked: "Miss, did your dream yesterday include me... calling you Mother?"
Could it be that in Miss Yun’s dream, he called Yun Qian "Mother"? If so, everything would be understandable.
Yun Qian doesn’t like downgrading from affection to passion, let alone downgrading even further.
"Dream..." Listening to Xu Chang’an’s words, Yun Qian snapped out of it and followed his logic.
He said it can be considered as not having heard her speak.
Which means he didn’t hear, she didn’t speak.
So she didn’t make a mistake.
Yun Qian’s grip on her skirt relaxed a bit, she nodded and said: "It’s a dream, anyhow... you’re not allowed to call me that."
In a short moment, she repeated "not allowed" four times, this manner, lacking Yun Qian’s usual elegance, stunned Xu Chang’an for a long time before he said: "I understand, I won’t call you that."
After promising Miss Yun, Xu Chang’an felt speechless.
Why did he make a promise on such an utterly ridiculous matter?
Miss Yun doesn’t want to downgrade, does he want to?
Clearly, in Xu Chang’an’s mind, Yun Qian as a child isn’t even as high as a housekeeper.
"Forget it." Xu Chang’an raised an eyebrow, realizing he was being dragged into Yun Qian’s logic, the more he cared the harder it was to get out: "This matter... let’s just let it go, I’m getting dizzy."
He almost forgot, earlier he was thinking about finding an appropriate title for Miss Yun.
Eventually he got sidetracked by a "Mother."
Of course, Yun Qian had no objections, she’d already gotten the outcome she wanted.
"One more thing." Xu Chang’an stood behind Yun Qian, his hand resting on the back of the chair at her vanity: "I said earlier I hadn’t seen the Miss in a hurry, turns out I spoke too soon."
Wasn’t she just anxious?
And it was due to some inexplicable thing she imagined and spoke rashly.
Yun Qian heard this, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.
Miss Yun thought she hadn’t really panicked or hurried, she was just sharing her thoughts with him.
"..." Xu Chang’an looked at the rain outside the window, feeling as if his mind was muddled by Miss Yun, so he said: "Miss, I’ll go find Junior Master Qin to arrange the paperwork for going down the mountain, and also ask who went up the mountain today."
"Okay."
Thus, Xu Chang’an grabbed an umbrella and walked into the rain.
After stepping out of the house, Xu Chang’an listened to the pitter-patter of rain hitting the umbrella, glanced back, gradually hiding the seriousness in his eyes.
He hadn’t thought that Yun Qian, usually so tight-lipped, would now flusteredly use mother as a shield for such a ridiculous matter.
This made Xu Chang’an feel he might have a chance to coax secrets from Miss Yun.
Shaking his head.
It’s one thing to bully, but scheming against Miss Yun, he couldn’t imagine doing something like that in his lifetime.
He took steps forward, going to find Qinling.
——
The Gentleman’s scent remains, but Xu Chang’an isn’t a Gentleman, does not have Gentleman’s habits.
Merely a fickle, selfish, pitiful person.
Yet he still leaves a fragrance.
Miss Yun feels it’s fragrant.
Yun Qian peeked through the window gap, cold wind on her face, watching his figure gradually disappear.
The dawn light was like an aura, cascading in a silhouette of rain, embellishing the young lady in front of her, her garments seeming to change color.
Occasionally, Miss Yun would recall certain things, like... at this moment, in a haze, she seemingly saw a courtyard, someone asleep in the garden... and she walked over to take away the book, her small movement woke the youth, who rubbed his eyes and stretched his body, smiling lightly as he looked at her.
How long ago was this?
She couldn’t remember.
Only remembered it should have been a long time ago.
When time loses its meaning, then some things, no matter how ridiculous they seem now, they will always happen, and might have long passed, flowing down the river of time.
Like she bathed her feet in the creek, the stream bringing back unexpected memories, savoring the taste of candied fruit in her hand.
Just like this time.
Dazed for a while, until the lingering scent in the room calmed her inner fluctuations.
Yun Qian supported herself on the chair to stand up, carrying her tired body to sit at the nearby table, in front of the drying ink.
[Miss Yun]
Cannot leap outside the horizontal and vertical of paper.
Yun Qian took Xu Chang’an’s common pen, imbued with his aura and Spiritual Power, and drew a circle over the words Miss Yun, enclosing them.
Can’t leap out, nor does she want to leap out.
Even if called mother.