"There are many auspicious days, but in what aspect are you looking for one?" Zhao Yan asked.
"I just want to find a particularly auspicious date within this month. I want to get my marriage certificate with my dear," Brother Liu said, placing his small bag on the table with a smile.
Zhao Yan took out paper and pen and handed them over. "Write down your birth date and time, and your dear's as well."
"Okay." Brother Liu took the paper and pen and wrote down his information. Then he turned to ask, "Wife, what's your birth date and time? I'll write it for you."
That one word, "wife," almost made Wu Jiaxin faint. In contrast, Brother Liu said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
A woman three years older is like holding a gold brick. A woman thirty years older is like gifting an empire.
A woman thirty years older is like standing before Buddha.
"Little Liu Liu, is this reliable?" the old woman asked hesitantly.
"Don't worry, wife. This master is incredibly effective. If it weren't for the master predicting my situation, we wouldn't have this fate together."
A few days ago, when he went to the police station to report a case, he happened to meet Zheng Lin as she was leaving.
Zheng Lin was stunned when she saw Brother Liu coming out of the police station.
She said Brother Liu looked exactly like her deceased husband.
He was about to ride away on his electric scooter when Zheng Lin rushed towards him, startling Brother Liu into thinking he was being extorted.
She grabbed him by the buttocks, repeating how much he resembled someone.
Brother Liu thought she was a pervert and was about to scold her.
He then noticed Zheng Lin walking towards a stretched Lincoln.
Brother Liu made a decisive move, seizing the opportunity.
It made him instantly realize that all love was nothing but garbage.
The old woman stated her birth date and time.
After Brother Liu finished writing, he handed the paper over and capped the pen holder. "Alright, Master Zhao."
Zhao Yan glanced at it and said, "Your name is really Brother Liu?"
"Brother Liu, born March 27, 1985."
"Zheng Lin, born August 9, 1949."
"Brother Liu, you were born in the year of Jia Zi, with a metal element in the sea. You are a rabbit and your element is metal."
"Zheng Lin, you are a snake, born on a Ding Hai day. Combined, it's fire."
As Zhao Yan spoke, her brows furrowed.
"Master, please relax your brows. Your frowning almost scared me to death," Brother Liu said, panicking.
Back when he watched her live streams, if Zhao Yan frowned, three fans would have bad luck.
He wasn't here to find a good day, but to prepare his coffin money.
Zhao Yan coughed and picked up the pen to write.
"August 27th. Combining your elements, this is your auspicious day."
"August 27th. This is a good date," Brother Liu murmured, a wide smile spreading across his face.
He took out a thousand yuan from his backpack.
"Thank you, Master."
Zhao Yan gave Wu Jiaxin a look, and Wu Jiaxin immediately pocketed the money.
"Wife, you sit here for a moment." Brother Liu was about to leave, but he remembered Zhao Yan's worried expression, and it bothered him.
Especially when he recalled the nickname netizens had given Zhao Yan's frown: King Yama's Brow.
Seeing her frown was like seeing the King of Hell.
"Master Zhao, let's talk outside," Brother Liu whispered.
Zhao Yan gave a soft hum and followed Brother Liu out.
When they reached the doorway, Brother Liu looked around.
Seeing that Zheng Lin wasn't looking their way, he whispered, "Master Zhao, tell me, when will she leave?"
Zhao Yan chuckled. Calculating auspicious days was a pretense; the real goal was to find out when someone would kick the bucket.
"Isn't it true love?"
Brother Liu gave a dry laugh. "Master Zhao, please don't tease me. I won't put on airs with you. I'll be direct: I'm after her money."
"Just tell me, so I know what to expect."
"You plan to inherit her fortune after she's gone, don't you?" Zhao Yan asked.
Brother Liu nodded. "That's exactly it. Otherwise, why would I be with an old woman?"
Zhao Yan pondered for a moment. "The thousand yuan just now was for calculating an auspicious day. Your question falls outside that scope, so you'll need to pay extra. This is a separate matter."
"No problem, no problem." Brother Liu took out another thousand.
Zhao Yan accepted the money and said seriously, "Her face is round and full, with a prominent jawline, her facial features are well-proportioned, her eyebrows and eyes are long and slender, and most importantly, her longevity palace is extremely stable."
"She has a face that indicates a long life. Not necessarily 99, but at least 89 is no problem."
"Take my advice, you can't handle this!"
"If you want her money, she will outlive you."
Brother Liu couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Master Zhao, I was born in '85, I'm only 35 now, and I work out every day. People say I look like I'm in my twenties."
"How could I not outlive her?"
Zhao Yan looked at him seriously without speaking.
Seeing Zhao Yan's serious expression, Brother Liu's smile gradually faded, replaced by a somber look.
"Master, is this true? Could it be that I'm short-lived?" Brother Liu began to panic.
Suddenly, money didn't seem so appealing anymore.
"You're not short-lived. While your longevity palace isn't particularly outstanding, your ears are full and plump. Living to 70 or 80 is not a problem."
"I'm 35 this year, and she's 70. If I live another 30 years, I can outlive her. Why can't I?" Brother Liu asked, confused.
Zhao Yan said, "Her forehead is broader than average, open like a tiger's."
"What does that mean?" Brother Liu was bewildered.
Zhao Yan explained, "It means she has a strong vitality in that regard."
"Furthermore, your elements and zodiac signs are mutually generative and restrictive. The snake eats the rabbit, and metal desires fire, being consumed by fire."
"This 'desire' is not 'encounter,' but 'desire' in the sense of lust."
Brother Liu was even more confused, feeling like he was listening to a university professor.
"Could the calculation be wrong? I'm in my prime, and she's 70. No matter how strong her vitality is, she shouldn't be able to handle it anymore."
"Besides, I work out every day. Look at my muscles!" Brother Liu rolled up his sleeve, revealing his bicep.
Zhao Yan rolled her eyes.
"Her body might not be able to handle it, but her mind can still play."
"I don't understand! I don't understand!"
Zhao Yan rubbed her forehead and said directly, "Do you know what a 'rich woman steel wool' is?"
"Rich woman steel wool?" Brother Liu muttered, then his pupils suddenly widened, and his body trembled. "Holy shit!"
"If you don't believe me, check her previous husbands. See if they all kicked the bucket."
"So, the water here is too deep for you to handle. Take my advice and run for your life."
"You covet their property, but they want your life!"
The more Brother Liu listened, the more his body trembled. "Damn it, no wonder she grabbed my butt the first time she saw me."
"She also said I looked exactly like her husband, but later I looked, and I don't resemble her husband at all."
Zhao Yan pondered for a moment and said seriously, "Where she said you looked alike, perhaps it wasn't your face, but your backside!"