"What do you mean I can't have sex?!"
Malachi's roar shook an entire quadrant of the ship.
His wives were surprised by his outburst and Nyx's lack of a reaction to it.
"It's just as I've said." The goddess sighed. "Demonification spreads faster when you're indulging in certain behaviors. Violence, sex, gluttony, you get the picture."
Even if things were not inherently sinful, demonizing can quickly corrupt them if one is not careful.
A love of cooking can turn into uncontrollable gluttony. Sex can become hedonism.
As Nyx explained all of this, Malachi was so flabbergasted that he couldn't even get a word out. His mouth simply hung open like a dying fish.
Nyx placed a bag on the table in front of him. She began pulling out shiny gold items adorned with crucifixes.
"It's about perversion. The demonic infection spreading through you will taint the things you like to do and turn them into something you don't recognize. The shame of the things you do as a result is what hardens the transformation. Makes it permanent. Anger is also a key factor."
Malachi brought a hand to his head and dropped his gaze.
Nyx could feel her son's exhaustion, but there was nothing she could do to change the process. At least if he knew about it, he could be more aware.
"And speaking of anger…"
"Oh great.." Malachi flopped back onto the couch and used a pillow to cover his face.
"Since Satan was the one to give you his horn, you might start to feel a bit hot-tempered for the time being."
"I noticed…" Malachi grumbled.
"So in addition, no fighting and no sports..."
Malachi understood that one.
"No cooking..."
He removed the pillow. "Wait a damn minute-"
"And none of that card game you and Aisha like to play. Not even on your iPad."
"I'm a grown ass man!"
"And I know I already said it once, but no sex."
Malachi's entire body trembled like a volcano on the verge of exploding.
Serana raised her hand. "Why does that one seem to be the hardest for you?"
Instead of answering, Malachi pulled Bianca and Luna into his lap and pointed at them. As well as every other woman in the room whom he happened to be married to.
"...Okay, I guess I get it." Serana put her hand back down.
Malachi threw his head back in exasperation.
"So... I can't do anything I like then?"
"Now you're getting it." Nyx kissed her son on top of his head before holding out an item. "Touch this."
Malachi stared at a shiny, bejeweled cup that looked far too important for his mother to just have randomly.
"That's some serious bling there, Mama Nyx." Bianca whistled. "What'd you do, rob the Vatican?"
Nyx smirked as she caressed her cheek. "Oh, sweetie. When you're a being like me, it's not robbing so much as it is taking what you need."
Bianca honestly didn't know how that was supposed to be any different.
"Now, grab hold of this little thing-a-mabob and clench your tee-"
Malachi made a rash decision and grabbed hold of the cup without waiting for his mother's explanation.
The consequence was pain. Horrific, scorching pain.
"NUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A white light poured out from Malachi's eyes and mouth. His entire body radiated heat like a small furnace and his agonized screaming filled the halls of the ship.
"Hold him down!" Nyx ordered.
Bianca and Luna scrambled off Malachi's lap and placed their hands on his shoulders.
It took the full range of their strength to keep him from thrashing around.
After an agonizing three minutes, Malachi's wings fell out of his back. His tail receded into the base of his spine, and his eyes finally changed back to their usual purple.
He finally let go of the cup and collapsed onto the couch while holding his stomach.
"That... was horrible... I haven't felt pain like that since I watched my last college football game."
"I think he's fine." Luna blinked in surprise.
"Touching that thing may seriously have been the worst decision of my life... my stomach feels like it did the last time Jo tried to cook something..."
Joanne's brow furrowed as she set her lips in a thin smile. "...I don't think it worked. Let him touch it again."
Nyx smiled wryly.
"The thing is... he's kind of going to have to."
Luna had just helped Malachi sit up, but when he heard that, his body became a wet noodle and he flopped back over. "Uggghhhhhh....."
"Sorry, son." Nyx smiled. "Demonification isn't that easy to get rid of. You'll need to do this every day at seven a.m. for the next seven weeks."
"Whoa, brutal." Serana cackled.
"..." Malachi lifted his finger and shot her with a few zaps of electricity.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! MOM! Your stupid husband is abusing me!"
Sei gave Malachi's hand a pop with eyes that said she'd already grown used to this new life of hers.
"Wait a second!!" Malachi sat up in alarm. "Does this mean I also can't have sex or do anything I like for the next seven weeks??"
"Blame Satan." Nyx sighed as she started putting her relics away. "If you had been infected by anything other than one of the Seven Sins, then this would only take seven days."
Malachi had lost the light in his eyes. If he passed away right now, he might even have been okay with it.
As if she knew what he was thinking, Ndine wrapped her arms around her husband's neck. "Don't worry, babe. Seven weeks is nothing. We can get through it easy peasy."
"Do you really believe that?"
"No it's going to be hell but my positivity is one of my most redeeming qualities."
Oddly enough, Nadine's attempt at humor actually made him feel a bit better.
Maybe the time would fly by quicker than he realized.
"Oh my, it's already seven." Sei realized. "The kids have school."
"Can't I just skip today..?" Serana complained.
Everyone in the room stared at her with blank gazes.
"…Nothing? Not even a little bit funny?"
Everyone in the room shook their heads.
Serana stood up in a huff. "Just for the record? My dragon family likes my jokes."
-
Parents dropping their kids off at elementary school are prone to experiencing a bit of separation anxiety.
Namely, young parents who don't have normal day jobs.
"Aww, it's raining…Are you girls sure you don't want to stay home today? School kind of sucks in the rain you know..." Anna smiled nervously.
Luna pinched her hard on the butt.
"H-Hey! I was just asking!" Anna complained.
"Yes, that's the problem. We can't just let the kids start missing school anytime you want to snuggle."
"I would like to stay home and snuggle!" Camille raised her hand.
Luna's heart was almost swayed.
"I know, baby, but snuggling will have to wait until after school. After you and your sister have your cute little noggins full of knowledge."
Camille visibly deflated. Her noggin was already full of lots of things. Chief among them was just how badly she wanted to skip school.
Luna leaned down so that she was almost at her daughters' eye level.
"Tell you what. You go do good in school and when you get home, you two little geniuses can pick what we eat for dinner. No limits."
The term 'no limits' is usually outlawed in the Saint house. If only because they have some very creative children.
It was decided among the parents that they wouldn't use the term again after Shiro had the idea to fill their pool with coffee jelly.
"…We can have whatever we want?" Shiro asked with sparkling eyes.
After seeing the look in her daughter's eyes, she was tempted to say no.
But she had to keep the girls' enthusiasm high.
"…For tonight, yes."
The girls squealed and exchanged a small high five.
"Ah, but remember your dad can't cook for the time being so go easy on the rest of us." Anna smiled nervously.
Just like that, the girls lost all of their excitement.
Celeste, Luna, and Anna can't cook. Joanne and Nadine can barely microwave.
Sei and Bianca aren't completely helpless but they tend to make spicier foods that their young children aren't yet fond of.
"…Can we just do take out?" Camille asked plainly.
Luna couldn't even pretend she didn't understand.
The wives kissed the girls on their cheeks and sent them inside the school building shortly after.
Anna and Luna locked hands and prepared to have Malachi bring them home
"Alright… time for our first day of saving the-"
"Excuse me..!"
Luna and Anna saw a woman running towards them.
She was in her early thirties with a head of frazzled black hair and verdant green eyes.
"Do you two happen to be the mothers of Camille and Shiro..? O-Or I guess two of them..? Sorry, you're the only ones at school with a family quite this unique, I mean we had a whole meeting about it, so…"
"It's fine." Luna dismissed.
"Well it's super fucking weird, but-"
Luna covered Anna's mouth.
"H-How exactly can we help you?"
"Oh, I'm Cersei but the kids just call me Mrs. C. And I'm not quite sure how to tell you this, but… I'm not sure that Camille and Shiro are the right fit for our school."