“Actually, there was a time when I also thought I was a monster,” Ravenclaw said calmly.
Evan avoided meeting her gaze. He had never imagined that Lady Ravenclaw had endured so much.
He knew that all her reactions were calculated by her extraordinary intellect. He knew that Lady Ravenclaw was the smartest witch in the world, a title universally acknowledged even a thousand years later, with no one surpassing her.
However, Evan didn’t know what kind of pain and torture was plaguing this Ravenclaw behind all this.
Perhaps in the eyes of other wizards, such a Ravenclaw was a monster, and even she herself described herself that way.
Absolute wisdom, devoid of all emotion, truly was a terrifying magical gift.
“Maybe some wizards would desire this gift. It would make them stronger, colder, devoid of humanity. They wouldn’t care what price they had to pay as long as their ambitions were fulfilled. But I hate it. To be honest, this might be the first time I’ve ever truly felt an emotion: hatred for my gift, even hatred for myself,” said Ravenclaw slowly, shaking her head. “No, I’m not even sure if it qualifies as an emotion. Maybe it is more appropriate to describe it as disgust transformed from wisdom. My people hope that I can use this talent to lead the Ravenclaw family, but all my reason tells me to give up this talent. I don’t want to be the most powerful or the smartest witch. I just want to be normal — a regular person. Is that too much to ask?”
Evan remained silent. Indeed, was it too much to ask?!
This might be the humblest and most ordinary wish he had ever heard, but it was extremely difficult for Lady Ravenclaw.
“When I was young, I frantically searched for a way to abandon this gift. I even thought about dying and ending my life, so that I could put an end to being such a terrible monster. …”“Professor, you are not a monster!” Evan exclaimed. “You are … you are one of the greatest witches to ever live.”
Was Lady Ravenclaw a monster? She was definitely not, she was one of the greatest witches in the world.
Whether it was the creation of Hogwarts or the efforts made to fight against the evil gods, these were enough to make everyone remember her contributions.
Dark wizards like Voldemort were the real monsters. They used manipulation and brought suffering to the world.
Lady Ravenclaw was different. Though her intellect could see through people’s hearts, she chose to use it to make herself more human, to pursue normalcy. That, perhaps, was the lifelong goal of Lady Ravenclaw.
“Thank you, Evan. You are kind and can bring warmth to others. Like Godric, Helga and Salazar, I am fortunate to have met you. Perhaps it is because of your existence that I feel like a more complete person,” Ravenclaw said with a smile. “Since you have been to the Time Titan, you should have seen the memory I left on the Diadem, haven’t you?”
Evan nodded. He remembered it very clearly. At the end of that memory, Ravenclaw resolutely jumped into the Charybdis Whirlpool in order to find a way to give up her talent. There, the sea water was rolling wildly, the waves were splashing, the torrent was surging, and the powerful tearing force in the center of the vortex was enough to shred anything caught within.
Despite this, after Ravenclaw jumped into the whirlpool, Gryffindor jumped in without hesitation.
In the turbulent vortex, he held Ravenclaw’s hands tightly and would never let go, no matter what danger lay ahead.
Even if it meant death, Gryffindor was determined to face it alongside Ravenclaw.
In that memory, as a bystander, Evan clearly felt Gryffindor’s thoughts.
He believed that these thoughts must have been clearly conveyed to Lady Ravenclaw, even if she had no emotions. …
“When the whirlpool sucked Godric and I in, I seemed to suddenly feel something,” Ravenclaw closed her eyes, as if she was recalling carefully. “It was a warm and strange feeling. It came from Godric’s body, and slowly flowed with my blood, and finally flowed here.”
She placed her right hand on her chest, over where her heart was.
“I believe that was love — happiness — the emotion I had always longed for,” Ravenclaw said. “In that moment, my wish was finally fulfilled! Even though the feeling was faint, it was real. I felt warmth, I became a normal person, and my soul was truly integrated into this world.”
“Professor, did you finally find a way to give up this gift from the Time Titan?”
“No, I didn’t ask him for that,” Ravenclaw said with a smile. “The moment Godric and I jumped into the vortex together, I had already found what I was seeking. Having that feeling was enough to satisfy me. There was no need to search further.”
This was enough to satisfy her? Really…
“After that adventure, Godric and I found Salazar and Helga, and the four of us founded Hogwarts. I felt that I had finally found what I should pursue, a dream that was more meaningful than gaining emotions,” said Ravenclaw. “Later, I gave birth to Helena, and I thought I could be a normal mother … but I couldn’t. I didn’t understand what maternal love was at all. I just repeated what I did when I was four years old and imitated other mothers, but I never thought about whether what I did was suitable for Helena. Alas, even if I felt the love, I was still not a normal person!”
Helena’s tragedy was indeed related to Ravenclaw, but after knowing everything, Evan felt that she should not be blamed.
It was not that Lady Ravenclaw didn’t want to do well, but she really couldn’t do it. In a sense, she herself was a pitiful person. She was more entitled to curse fate and the world than others were to criticize her.
But one question still lingered in Evan’s mind. He asked, “Why didn’t you stop the Baron just now?”
“Everything you saw in the forest was a form of soul-level magic. Neither you nor I have actually left Hogwarts, so it was impossible for us to do anything,” Ravenclaw whispered. “Our souls followed the magic of the Diadem connected with another magic that exists in this world, but that connection only exists on the level of the soul.”
“If you used Apparition…”
“There is no magic that can make me appear in the depths of that primeval forest in an instant,” said Ravenclaw. “I don’t want to explain further, Evan, but I hope you can believe that I didn’t want the tragedy of Helena and the Baron to happen. That desire far surpasses anything anyone else might feel. Perhaps because I cannot feel sorrow, their deaths struck me even harder. In ways you cannot see, my soul and the faint emotions I possess are being relentlessly tortured by my wisdom. …”
Her voice was as calm as ever, but it carried an undercurrent of near-desperate sorrow.
It wasn’t something Evan heard with his ears; he felt it with his soul.
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