I thought after this encounter, His Highness the Crown Prince would no longer bother with me.
But unexpectedly, he broke through my window that very night.
Lately, to nurse my health, A Xiu kept a close watch on my bedtime. Hearing the sound of the window breaking, I jolted awake from my dream. Just as I was about to call out, I heard his voice, "It's I."
"Your Highness?" I sat up, clutching my quilt. "Have you been drinking?"
"Don't worry, I'm not drunk yet?"
"What are you doing here, Your Highness?"
"I can't figure it out, and can only seek an answer from you. What is it about me that you dislike so much, that you look down on me like this?"
The snowy night was moonless, and the lamplight from the corridor cast only a faint, indistinct shadow. I couldn't see his expression, but I could detect his grievance. I sighed inwardly, "Our statuses are too far apart. Your Highness is excellent, but we are not destined to be together."
The figure before me flickered, and Situ Yao was suddenly close. "You dislike me that much?"
"This humble one dares not, it's just that we are truly not suitable. You are not the husband this humble one desires."
"Then what kind of man do you want?"
His hot breath sprayed near my ear. I pushed him away uncomfortably, but was pinned down, unable to move. I was accustomed to his usual refined and elegant demeanor, and had forgotten that he too had trained rigorously through all weathers since childhood.
My mind was hazy with the smell of alcohol, and for a moment, I didn't know how to answer.
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, his silhouette gradually became clearer. The next second, his hot lips pressed against mine.
I was stunned for a moment, then quickly tried to push him away, but he held me down, unable to move. His wine-scented lips nuzzled mine, kissing me until I couldn't breathe.
With a sharp "slap," I struck him hard across the face.
Situ Yao seemed to suddenly wake up. He shot up, wanting to explain something, but his tongue was tied, unable to utter a single word.
I closed my eyes, suppressing the frustration in my heart. "Does Your Highness insist on humiliating this humble one like this?"
Situ Yao stared blankly for a long while, then said word by word, "You think I am humiliating you?"
"Isn't it? This humble one believes she has refused quite clearly. Or does Your Highness think that if you force the issue, this humble one will have to accept it even if she doesn't want to?"
In the darkness, Situ Yao's breathing became heavy and rough, clearly suppressing his anger with great effort. After a long pause, he let out a self-mocking chuckle from his throat, turned, and leaped out the window.
I never imagined that our parting would be so acrimonious.
I sat in the darkness for a long time, spending another sleepless night.
The next day, I started coughing.
A Xiu was full of self-reproach, "It's all my fault for being careless and forgetting to close the window for miss."
But I couldn't comfort her.
I couldn't exactly say that the window was broken open by His Highness the Crown Prince in the dead of night. It was also my fault for not closing it properly; I deserved to get sick.
Fortunately, my health had been good lately. I called for a doctor, who prescribed medicine, and I recovered in a few days, just in time for the Laba porridge. The cook had prepared several flavors. A Xiu said, "Miss, shall we send a portion to His Highness the Crown Prince?"
My heart ached suddenly, as if pricked by a needle.
These past few days, not only had I not seen Situ Yao, but I hadn't even heard any news of him.
It was for the best. If one must break ties, then it's best to sever them completely; lingering attachments are the most painful. I shook my head. "No need. What kind of Laba porridge can't His Highness the Crown Prince have?"
A Xiu pouted, "That's not what I mean. Sending it is our gesture of goodwill."
Aunt Ruyi interrupted her. "A Xiu, he is unmarried and she is unwedded. This is not proper."
A Xiu pouted, but dared not retort. My hand, gripping the spoon, tightened, and I suddenly lost my appetite.
Alas, I think I'm truly being sentimental. I was the one who pushed him away, so what right do I have to be sad here?