Chapter 151: You Don’t Get to Do That to Me[June’s POV]
My breath caught when he pushed my bikini aside, sliding his fingers inside me before I could even process it.
"Stop."
I broke the kiss immediately, staring at him with my chest heaving.
The second the word Stop left my mouth, it was like something shattered between us.
Ian froze.
My whole body was shaking. I was furious as hell. "You don’t get to do that to me."
Mo
His body went stiff, his hands were still gripping me like he couldn’t process what just came out of my mouth.
Then slowly, he let go. My legs slid down his waist, and I stumbled back, my chest kept heaving.
My body hit the floor clumsily....And that’s when I saw it.
His dick.
It was hard. Pressing shamelessly against his shorts like it was about to break out.
My stomach flipped. I felt dirty, furious, humiliated all at once, like I’d just been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to, except nobody was even here.
It was just him. Him and that stupid look on his face.
I dragged my eyes back up to him, and for once, Ian Han couldn’t look at me.
His jaw was tight, his chest heaving. But his gaze was fixed somewhere over my shoulder, like he couldn’t stand what he’d just done.
"June..." His voice was low. He swallowed hard. "I..I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.."
"Don’t you dare," I spat, my hands kept shaking as I pointed right at him, toward the proof of exactly how turned on he was.
At the erection he was trying obviously to adjust. "Don’t you fucking dare tell me you didn’t mean it. You were bout to slide your fingers inside me." My voice broke. "I saw you."
His face flushed, and Ian Han looked... guilty.
"I got caught up," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, avoiding my eyes. "I wasn’t thinking, okay? It was shit." He groaned. "It was the moment. I was just... caught up."
Caught up.
Like that explained the way my body was still burning, or the way I could still taste him, or the way my chest felt like it was about to explode.
I hated him. I hated him so much.
But my body? My body hated me more.
Because even while I was glaring at him, furious and shaking, part of me couldn’t unsee it. Couldn’t unsee how hard he was for me.
And that thought alone made me want to scream.
Tears stung my eyes. I hated that my first kiss wasn’t mine anymore. It wasn’t soft or sweet or romantic. It was Ian Han pinning me against a wall, making me lose myself, making me forget who I even was for a second.
And the worst part?
A part of me had wanted it.
That realization made me sick.
I shook my head, my voice started rising even though it wavered. "You don’t get to touch me like that! You don’t get to take something from me and make it feel like...like." My voice broke. "Like I wanted it."
My throat closed, my chest tightened, and all I could do was shove at him again, desperate to get space, desperate to breathe.
"I already said I’m sorry, okay?" he muttered, running a hand through his hair like that was gonna magically erase everything. "I’m sorry, June. It’s... it’s okay. You don’t have to make a big deal about it."
My eyes went wide.
Excuse me?
No. No, no, no. He did not just say that.
My whole body was trembling. My chest was sprinting, my hands were shaking, and my brain was still glitching from the fact that Ian Han literally shoved his tongue down my throat and pressed his...God, no, don’t even think about it.
And now he’s standing here, calm as hell, telling me I don’t have to make a big deal about it?
Really? Really? Coming from him?
"I don’t have to make a big deal about it." I repeated his words.
Like I wasn’t about to combust from anger and shame and what just happened panic.
I snapped at him.
"I’ve kept myself for nineteen fucking years..." My voice cracked, but I didn’t care. "Nineteen years of saying no, of saving it, of waiting...and my first kiss gets stolen by you." My chest was heaving, "and you’re telling me not to make a big deal about it?!"
The silence that followed after was endless.
The words came out sharp, but it still didn’t feel like enough.
Because what I wanted to say was...you don’t get to touch me like that and then act like it’s nothing. You don’t get to leave me burning and shaking and then shrug like oopsie, my bad, not a big deal. My first kiss was never yours to take. You had no right.
It’s a big deal for me.
He just stared, guilt kept flickering across his face, his stupid mouth half open like he didn’t know what to say.
And that made it worse.
"You don’t get to do that, Ian. You don’t get to take something from me I can’t ever get back and then act like it’s..." my voice broke,"like it’s nothing."
Even while I was glaring at him, screaming in my head, my stupid lips still felt swollen.
I shook my head. "You know what....Go fuck yourself."
I spat it, my voice cracked, before storming down the stupid hallway like it could erase what just happened.
But of course he had to open his big mouth.
"Do you hate me that much?" His voice chased after me. "I get it....you don’t like me. But tell me, June... do you hate that it was me who kissed you... or that it wasn’t him?"
I froze. Literally froze mid-step.
My heart just collapsed.
What the actual fuck did he just say?
"I see it now," he kept going, softer this time, like he was stabbing me on purpose but apologizing while doing it. "It all makes sense. I’m sorry I kissed you. I’m sorry I stole your first kiss. I’m sorry..." he paused for a while, "...that I’m not Ren."
My eyes widened. My lungs stopped working.
Ren.
He said Ren.
I turned around so fast, I almost tripped. "What the hell did you just say?" My voice shook, and I hated it.
Ian just stood there, breathing hard, eyes locked on me like he’d ripped the biggest secret straight out of my chest.
My crush.
My stupid, pathetic, hopeless crush on Ren.
Was it that obvious? Was I that easy to read? Every time I looked at Ren, every smile, every laugh I saved for him...was I basically wearing a neon sign over my head that screamed I’m in love with Ren?
My throat closed up. Shame, anger, panic...everything tangled until I couldn’t even tell which one was more.
"Was it that obvious?" I choked out before I could stop myself. My stomach hurt. "Tell me, Ian. Do I look that pathetic? Do I wear it on my forehead every time I look at him?"
Ian’s expression softened like my words actually touched him.
And God ...it made it so much worse.