Chapter 171: Don’t Look at the Water
Ashs’s POV
I swear my chest hasn’t stopped aching since yesterday.
Twenty-four hours. A whole day. That’s how long it’s been since Dom last texted me, last picked up my calls. Nothing. Just silence.
I’d spammed his phone, left voice notes, even tried calling Diane just to know if he was home. But all I got back was a No.
And every hour that passed, the silence got louder. Like it was screaming at me that something was wrong.
I kept calling, kept checking his location. Still nothing.
"Please, please pick up," I whispered into the dead line for the hundredth time, like he could hear me through the phone.
My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped my phone when it buzzed. It wasn’t him, it was June.
June: When you find him, please let me know.
And suddenly my throat closed up.
Because I knew exactly which cliff he meant.
The cab ride there felt endless.
My knee kept bouncing, my nails kept digging into my palms.
My thoughts were racing so fast I couldn’t catch a single one.
What if he...
No. Don’t think it. Don’t say it.
I pressed my forehead against the cold glass of the window, trying to breathe, but every bump in the road just made my chest tighter.
And then...
The cab slowed. Gravel crunching under the tires.
My heart leapt straight into my throat.
When the car finally stopped, the driver’s called out. "We’re here."
I turned my head.
And there it was.
The cliffside. Jagged rocks. Wind tearing through the grass.
And somewhere out there was Dom.
My boyfriend.
I gave the bills to the driver and stumbled out of the cab. My legs were barely holding me up.
"Dom!" My voice cracked as it ripped out of me. "Dominic, please where are you?"
My palms were sweaty, I felt like I was going to fall sick.
I walked to the other side, turned in a full circle, my eyes darting everywhere. Rocks, water, empty road.
Then I saw him.
A figure, shoulders hunched, standing at the edge of the cliff.
Dominic.
For a second I couldn’t breathe. My legs felt like they’d forgotten how to move, but somehow I was stumbling forward anyway.
"Dominic!"
He turned slowly, like he hadn’t even expected me to find him here.
His eyes were swollen, his expression was blank. So blank that made my chest tighten, because it wasn’t him.
It wasn’t my Dominic.
I swallowed hard. "It’s me... it’s just me."
And all the fear I’d been holding back rushed in at once.
Because I’d finally found him.
And he was one wrong step away from the edge.
"Dominic!" My voice cracked on his name as I stumbled closer.. "Please please don’t just... don’t move."
He blinked at me.
I caught his face under the moonlight.
His eyes were teary, his lips parted like he was about to say something but couldn’t.
I took another step, forcing my voice to stay steady even though my hands were shaking. "Babe, are you okay? I miss you."
He turned his face toward the water below. My chest tightened.
"Don’t look at the water," I whispered. "Look at me. Just me."
His jaw clenched, tears streaked down his face.
"You don’t have to carry this alone," I said.
"You don’t have to stand on the edge and pretend you’re not breaking apart inside. I see you, Dom. Every piece. Even the ones you think are too heavy. Especially those."
I dared another step closer, my fingers stretched out toward him, aching to just touch, to anchor him. But he didn’t move.
"I love you," I choked out, the words trembled in the air between us.
"And I’m not going anywhere. You hear me? You could shatter into a thousand pieces right here, right now, and I’d still be on my knees picking up every single one, holding them like they’re the most precious thing in the world. Because you are."
His shoulders shook, a sob tore his out of him as his knees bent slightly.
I surged forward, closing the space between us, wrapping my arms around his trembling frame before he could fall. He collapsed against me.
"I’ve got you," I whispered into the air, clutching him tight, refusing to let go. "I swear, Dominic, I’ve got you. Always."
Everywhere was silent for a while, till he raised his head to look at me.
"It’s all my fault," he whispered, his voice cracked. "I’m the reason Liam’s dead."
My eyes widened. "What? No, Dom"
Why would he blame himself for Liam’s death?
"If I hadn’t hosted that party, if it wasn’t my roof, he wouldn’t have fallen. He’d still be alive. And you..." his breath shattered, "you even got arrested because of me. Every bad thing, every single one, it always comes back to me."
"No," I said, my throat burned. "That’s not true."
"It is!" he choked out, his fist trembled.
"If we had helped that girl that night...if we had done something Liam would still be alive. Don’t you get it? It’s too late. Everything’s too late." His voice shattered. " I killed him."
"No," I said sharply. "You didn’t kill him. You loved him. You’re right, it happened, and it’s unbearable. But it’s not too late. Not for everything. You can still help. You can tell the others. We can figure it out together, so no one else has to die."
He shook his head violently. "You don’t understand..."
"I do! You’re not a murderer," I said. "You’re a boy who lost his best friend. And I..." my chest cracked tightened, "I’m standing right here, breaking with you. But if you end it now, if you walk off this edge, you’re giving up your chance to fix anything."
He sighed.
"Liam’s death doesn’t get undone. That girl doesn’t get saved. The coil destroys everything, and you’re gone. That’s not what Liam would’ve wanted. It’s not what I want. It’s not what you need."
He tried to pull his hand back, but I held tighter. "You’re more than your guilt, Dom. And I choose you. Do you hear me? I choose you, not your guilt. Not your mistakes. You."
I finally said it, I was ready to forgive him.
He looked at me, trembling. His lips parted. "I don’t know how to forgive myself. I don’t know how to live with it."
I pulling his face to mine so he couldn’t look away. "Then don’t. Not yet. You don’t have to forgive yourself today, or tomorrow. You just have to stay alive long enough to try. Stay alive for me. With me. Please."
He shook, his whole body trembled in my arms.
But I held him tighter, pressed my forehead to his, whispering against his shaking breath, "We’ll fight the coil together. We’ll help the others. We’ll make sure Liam didn’t die for nothing. And you..." I pulled back just enough to look him in the eye, "you don’t get to go. Not now. Not like this. I love you too much to let you go."
I love you so much Dominic Vale.
I love you so much it hurts to see you like this.
Please be strong for me, please.