After that day, Su Su was rarely seen. Like other courtesans in the establishment, she entertained guests at night and slept during the day. Even the plan to go watch the lantern festival together on the Zhong Yuan Festival, which had been agreed upon weeks ago, was something Su Su had to rush to find Yang Ruo Ning for just before the evening of the festival. She apologetically explained she wouldn't be able to make it tomorrow.
Yang Ruo Ning heard that Su Su had been booked for the entire month by the son of a high-ranking official, so she understood Su Su must be unavailable.
Thus, on the afternoon of the Zhong Yuan Festival, Yang Ruo Ning changed into the long dress Su Su had left her and prepared to go out alone. The dress was cranberry colored, very vibrant, but Su Su had said it was called "branch red," the most fashionable color in the capital recently. She piled her hair high, securing it with a wooden chopstick, and then, carrying a stack of drawn missing person notices, walked alone towards the lively areas outside the city.
She had heard Su Su say that the "Golden Pond Garden," the royal garden in the western suburbs, was specially opened to the public during the Zhong Yuan Festival every year. It was crowded there, so she naturally wanted to try her luck.
Although the height of summer had passed, the weather was still muggy, but this did not dampen people's spirits for a garden stroll. Whether they were dignitaries in brocade silks or commoners in simple cloth, no one wanted to miss this rare opportunity to visit the imperial private grounds. They flocked in, packing the garden to the brim.
Yang Ruo Ning held the missing person notices, weaving through the crowd, asking person after person. Perhaps finding this woman's behavior odd, likely a madwoman, most people dismissed Yang Ruo Ning's concerns with disdain.
Yang Ruo Ning walked the entire garden without any success. She even asked the guards in front of the royal temple in the peach grove behind the garden. Of course, she got no information; the guards roughly pushed her out.
By the time she walked back into the city, it was already dark. Rows of lanterns of various shapes, newly hung on the city's streets and alleys, began to light up, marking the true start of the city's liveliness.
Yang Ruo Ning bought some snacks and strolled through the streets, eating as she browsed the lanterns. Her gaze was caught by a large lantern painted with colorful pictures on all four sides. She stopped and looked up at the paintings on the lantern. These pictures seemed to depict a tragic love story about a man and a woman who could not be together in life and were transformed into butterflies after death.
Why did people always insist on forcing tragic endings into happy tales? What afterlife was there in this world? Everyone was just a carbon-based life form.
Yang Ruo Ning gave a wry smile and turned to leave, only to see a man in white standing still a few meters away. The warm light from the lantern illuminated his refined features. A gentle smile curved his lips, and then he strode towards her.
Yang Ruo Ning swore that for those brief few seconds, the world truly stood still. Everything on Earth vanished, leaving only the man walking towards her with a smile. The world was so quiet that all she could hear was the accelerating beat of her own heart.
He drew closer, so close that when Yang Ruo Ning tilted her head back, she could see the starry summer night sky reflected in his eyes.
"What a coincidence, meeting you here," he said.
"Yes, are you here to enjoy the lanterns alone?"
"I got separated from my friends. Such a chance encounter is fate, would you mind accompanying me back to Fan Lou?"
"Okay."
He matched her pace, walking slowly. They walked side by side along the riverbank. Even without much conversation, the atmosphere was not awkward.
Small candlelight lanterns floated on the river. Yang Ruo Ning asked, "What are these?"
"They are river lanterns to mourn the departed," he replied.
Moving further towards the bridge, they saw a small stall selling river lanterns. Yang Ruo Ning stopped and bought one with a copper coin. The friendly vendor gave her a brush and ink, saying the lady could write whatever she wished on the paper, and the river lantern would carry those words to the distant deceased.
Yang Ruo Ning gripped the brush, thought for a moment. She first wrote the two characters "对不" (duì bù - sorry) crookedly on the paper, but couldn't recall how to write the character "起" (qǐ - up/rise, completing "对不起" duìbuqǐ - sorry). At that moment, Luo Yuan, standing nearby, handed her a piece of paper with the character "起" written on it. "Thank you," Yang Ruo Ning said sheepishly. She took it and copied it onto the paper.
Yang Ruo Ning gently placed the river lantern down and watched as the water slowly carried it downstream.
"Who are you mourning?" Luo Yuan asked.
"A little boy," Yang Ruo Ning said.
"Why say sorry?"
"Because I disappointed him." Yang Ruo Ning watched the lantern drift further away, eventually merging with a group of other river lanterns in the distance. "Do the dead really receive the notes on the river lanterns?"
"I think they must," his tone was very certain.
"Then he surely won't forgive me?" Yang Ruo Ning murmured to herself.
"Why do you say that?"
"I didn't do what I promised him. I thought... I didn't realize I had been gone for so, so long. When I returned, I was told he had already died."
"Someone told you? Didn't you personally confirm it?"
Yang Ruo Ning sighed, "I don't know. The young monk had no reason to lie... But if he were really still alive... I don't know, but I feel that his life might have been better without me."
"Why do you say that?"
"For him, I could perhaps only bring misfortune and unrealistic fantasies. What he needs is..." Yang Ruo Ning looked at a young couple nearby who were releasing river lanterns with their child, "He needs this kind of ordinary life."
"So you wish you had never met him?"
"You must understand, for ordinary people, just wanting to live an ordinary life is already difficult, and I am simply... General Luo is not an ordinary person, so naturally, you wouldn't understand."
When Luo Yuan and Yang Ruo Ning returned to Fan Lou that night, it was already very late. Although there were no people on the main streets, the night in Fan Lou, this district of courtesans, seemed to be in full swing.
As she turned to leave, Luo Yuan called out to her.
"Ruo Ning... Could you reconsider my proposal? You can name your own wage."
Yang Ruo Ning was stunned. She had intended to refuse again, but seeing the expectation in his eyes, a trace of softness suddenly surfaced within her.
"Okay, I'll consider it and give you my answer," she said with a smile.